Thursday, 1 November 2012

Argh :@

Dear K,
When I first met you, I really didn't like you because you were loud and annoying. However, I didn't tell you that- I gave you a chance. Then, I was glad I gave you that chance; I soon changed my opinion of you, and we became 'best friends'. I tried my best to be there for you as much as possible, knowing that you were going through difficulties.
A while back, we had a huge argument, and we both said things we didn't mean, but still made up. I was thankful that we worked through it. We also both found out a heck of a lot about each other- stuff that no-one else knew. I counted myself as being lucky to have someone like you.
Eventually, you came out, and I was the first person you told. I was happy for you as you seemed so happy yourself, and I of all people know what a momentous thing it is. You continued to tell pretty much everyone, despite my advice that it wasn't something you should do without a certain element of caution. Two days later, you told us you were mistaken, and expected us to carry on as if everything was normal.
You didn't think how we'd feel. It felt as if it was all just a game to you; just a joke. It's not a joke. It's something I've gone through, something thousands of people go through every day. Didn't you listen when I told you that you had to be sure, or people would get confused?
Even after the arguments over that, we managed to repair our friendship. However, things gradually got worse and we started to drift apart. You annoyed a lot of people, and I often felt like it was up to me to try and make sure everyone got on.
I still regret what I said that night. I over-reacted, and said things I shouldn't have done. On the other hand, you also said things that were out of order, and I can see now that there was fault on both sides.
When I heard that you'd quit, I was upset. I knew it was partly my fault. I apologised over and over again, but to no avail. I spent ages blaming myself, which had a negative effect on myself and my actions.
Although I was talked out of blaming myself quite so much, I still felt bad. The only thing I could do was try and move on, though whenever a group of us met up I'd text you and include you. I couldn't cut you out completely.
Finally, after you claimed to be busy for the hundredth time, I asked you as politely as possible whether you'd prefer me to stop inviting you. After all, it wasn't like you were talking to us. However, you thanked me for inviting you, and I used the opportunity to ask you, yet again, what I'd actually done to deserve the cold shoulder I'd been recieving.
You told me that I belittled you, and made you feel small. Although I had never ever meant to do this, I apologised yet again. You didn't accept the apology, and we ended up in an argument.
If you'd ever been a 'true friend', maybe you'd realise how much you hurt me, and how I wasn't in the best position to start with. All you've done today is hurl abuse at me, and make me feel very low, which isn't something I need. Therefore, I've decided that that argument will be our last. I don't see the point in remaining in contact with someone who makes me feel so bad.
Maybe our paths will cross again someday and things will work out a little better. Until then, goodbye and good luck.