Stuck.

At the moment, most of the people in my year are finishing their personal statements, applying to universities and eagerly awaiting their offers. It seems like a day doesn't go by without someone mentioning 'UCAS' or 'application' or 'offer' or 'university'. It's an exciting process, working out what you're doing to be doing for the next three years. On top of that, Facebook is full of friends already at uni, posting pictures of their new friends and the events they've been to, talking eagerly about their new lives. Everyone seems to be moving somewhere at the moment. Maybe that's why I feel so stuck and caged in.
It's not that I'm regretting my decision to stay at sixth form for another year. Given the circumstances, I still feel that I made the right choice, and that it'll pay off at the end. It's just really really difficult to think that, in a years time, everyone else will have moved on, and I'll still be here. Still going to the same school I've been attending for the past six years (seven by then), living in the same area, doing the same things. I really do love my life, bu I want to stretch my wings. I want to start afresh, somewhere where no-one knows who I am. I want to find a city and make it mine, all mine, with no-one else able to take that from me. I want to make my own memories, with different people and different places, my head full of new sights and sounds. I want to grow up, and to fully become my own person.
All of this just makes me feel even more volatile and unpredictable than usual. I'm always in need of making changes- that's part of the reason I dye my hair so much, and has been the reason for several of my piercings. But right now all the body modification in the world couldn't make the world move in the way I want it to. I want to run away and join the circus, or learn how to fly a hot air balloon and make it all the way to America. Obviously, neither of those are possible, but I'm still racking my brains for something I can do, some change I can make to make this stillness more bearable. Throwing myself into Christmas is my plan for now, I guess. Focusing on my schoolwork, too, so that when the time comes I'll be able to go wherever I want.
Sigh.