Earlier this week, Robin Williams died.
Though not really aware of him personally (aside from one time where
I confused him with Robbie Williams), a lot of my friends were fans
of him, and my Facebook became filled with the news. However, the
main theme initially was one of confusion. 'How did he die?' people
were asking, through comments, through Twitter. The answer appeared
unanimous: reports were differing and no-one knew. It was only later
that a consensus seemed to be reached.
Robin Williams, an esteemed actor and
comedian, took his own life. This is believed to be linked to his
battle with depression, but may well have had many other underlying
causes. It's a huge loss, and a huge tragedy. Unfortunately, many are
not treating it as such- and it's for this reason that I feel, once
again, as if we're all just repeating ourselves.
Anytime someone in the spotlight
chooses to take their own life, we are reminded once again of the
stigma surrounding mental health. It's a shockingly big problem- in
the course of one year, 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health
problem- yet one made all the worse by the discrimination that can be
found everyday. The negative attitudes and misconceptions are such
that I could dedicate a whole blog to them, and still not look at
even a large part of the problem. So, instead, I'm choosing a few of
the things I've heard in relation to Robin Williams, and explaining
why they're wrong.
The first one was the wholly
predictable: 'how selfish'. It comes up time and time again- how
selfish it is to kill yourself, to hurt your loved ones, etc.
However, there is a very different way to look at this. Imagine that
you are hurting, and struggling- so much so that it feels like
everything you're doing is wrong, and all you can see is the pain you
are causing other people. To you, it seems like the best thing you
can do is to leave their lives completely, to make things easier for
them. To you, you are trying to help everyone else. Is that really
selfish? (Note- I am not saying that suicide is noble, nor am I
saying it is right. To anyone who reads that description and feels
that that rings true, that they feel it would be easier for people to
cope without them- it would not be. Never ever, not at all. I'm just
trying to explain to those who continue to remain ignorant.) In
addition, when people who kill themselves, or try to kill themselves,
their own pain is often forgotten. To have reached that point, they
must be struggling pretty badly. They are going through their own
hell. Think of that, not of whether their decision is selfish.
Another word used to brand Williams-
most notably by Fox news- was 'cowardly'. Again, please do not take
this in the wrong way and say that I am advocating for suicide,
because I'm totally and completely not- but it is not cowardly.
Mental illness is all-consuming. It is terrifying. It is bigger than
the person it affects; it takes over. Fighting it is so damn hard,
and every minute can take all you have not to let it take you
completely. Some of the strongest people I know have- or have had-
mental health problems; some of them have contemplated or attempted
suicide. That does not make them cowardly, not in the slightest- it
just means that, at the time, that's the action they felt they had to
take. Similarly, Williams was not cowardly. He did what he felt he
had to do. I wish, I so so wish, that he hadn't- but he has, and he
is still not lacking in courage. Considering that he'd faced problems
with addiction and mental health before, and, despite that, he still
went out there, entertaining people and being strong, I'd say he was
the opposite of a coward.
Moving on, there was the questioning of
Williams life. He was famous, well-liked, celebrated- what did he
have to be upset about? Well, he had depression. He was ill. It's the
same as saying that *insert name*
is famous, well-liked, celebrated- what did they have to get
cancer/heart disease/etc. about. Mental illness does not
discriminate, it affects anyone and everyone, just like any other
illness. There is no rhyme or reason, and that's what of the things
that makes it so difficult.
Lastly was the friend who told me about
a woman on the bus, who's response was that depression isn't a
problem. Apparently, had Williams just spoken to his friends and
family more, he would have been fine. Thankfully, my friend gave the
woman a very good lecture on why she was wrong. A version of it as
told by me- as said above, depression is an illness. It's not
just feeling sad, or just having a problem. You can talk and talk,
and that might help, but it equally might not- like chemo might work
for some cancers, but not others. Depression is so complex, and it
cannot be solved easily. Moreover, it can't be dismissed, either- it
is a problem, and it's
a huge one. If you don't understand this, then you've probably never
experienced depression, or watched someone you love experience it.
That would make you lucky in that respect. Take my word for it.
It's
late now, and I need to sleep, so I'm going to wrap this up. Please-
don't listen to the media's reporting on this matter. Don't listen to
the people who brand Williams, who think they know best. Listen to
those who actually have an inkling of the problem. Williams deserves
our respect and praise for the life he lived; his family deserve our support in their time of grief. He lived well, he fought hard. RIP, Robin Williams.
I'd
also like to add- if you are struggling in any way, please, please seek help. I
cannot stress this strongly enough. It can feel like there's no-one
there and like the world is against you, but there are always people
or places to turn to- for example, check out the Samaritans or
Childline, or speak to a friend, or even comment below and I'll
arrange to contact you if possible. There is a brighter tomorrow on
the horizon, and I love you x