Frequently Asked Questions
What are you doing next?Starting in September, I'm returning to sixth form, to start in Year 14 .
Why?
A lot of reasons. I guess the main one is to do with the options I chose to do in Year 12. I dropped one subject halfway through, and didn't do as well as I would have liked in the other one. Hence, I chose to drop that, too, bringing my A level subjects to two. As most universities are looking for at least three, I then had to pick up another- and I figured that, in that case, I might as well take one in addition to that. Also, taking an extra year meant that I had more time to figure out university (this time last year I had no idea what I wanted to do). And all of it- dropping first one subject then the other, taking an extra year, everything- has been done with my mental health as an utmost priority.
So, are you retaking?
No. As it stands, I'm not retaking.
What subjects are you doing?
As things stand, I'll be doing A2 Law and A2 Sociology. To fill up my timetable and ensure funding etc., I'm also planning on volunteering within the lower school and doing an EPQ.
Do you still want to go to university?
Yes, most definitely. At the moment, I'm hoping to take Sociology with Creative Writing at Surrey. I'll be applying this year, for 2016 entry.
Would you recommend doing an extra year?
If that's what's going to work for you, then yes. Definitely. I'm not going to lie, it's difficult- but it's going to get me to where I need/want to be, and that's the main thing.
Frequently Not Asked Questions
Why weren't your original results 'good enough'?Because I didn't do as well in Music as I would have liked. As I had achieved what I wanted in my other two subjects (at least at AS), the Music grade would have limited me from using my other two grades as much as I could have done- so it felt right to try and do better in a different subject. To put it bluntly, I got AAD at AS, and was predicted to get the same at A2. Most universities that are looking for A grades are looking for AAB or similar; having AAD would have prevented me getting into such universities. As there was a chance of getting a B in a different subject, it felt like a good move to try. I hope that made sense.
You realise this makes you sound really narcissistic/stuck up/vain/big-headed, right?
I do realise that. I do hate myself for that. It's less to do with being any of those things, and more to do with being the opposite. If you don't know how that works, then I am jealous of you.
Why are you such a perfectionist?
Do you want the full answer to this? I don't think you do, somehow. In short, because I am incredibly self-critical and unable to accept myself unless I'm perfect. Yes, I know it's not healthy. Yes, I should be working on this. Yes, I should be using CBT to conquer this. No, you do not know everything, and you definitely don't know enough to judge any of this. Go away now please.
So are you saying that other universities aren't good enough?
No, I'm not. All universities are amazing, all university degrees are amazing, and I firmly believe that it doesn't matter where you go to university (or even if you go to university at all), everyone is perfectly capable of excelling. All I'm saying is that I would like to make use of the grades I have.
But you're clever? Why are you staying on?
But being clever and doing an extra year at sixth form are two completely different things? I've already explained why I'm staying on. Stop being judgemental.
What about a gap year?
That's not really going to be an option. I'd really rather not talk about it, to be honest. I've wanted to do a gap year- to travel, to explore, to help, to live- for as long as I can remember. It's not going to happen, and that keeps hitting me at weird moments. I'm dealing with this best by not thinking about it. Please.
Isn't this the easy option?
Yeah. Definitely. Watching my friends moving on and going off to their new lives, being stuck in the same place for another year, feeling slightly out of place no matter what, not getting the gap year I wanted... This is, quite obviously, the easy option. Totally. 110%.
I bet you're glad you're not off to uni yet?!
Oh, sure. I'm really enjoying watching other people be excited about starting afresh, with new places and people and adventures to look forwards to. It's great, thinking that I'm stuck with the same old, same old for another year. I'm glad. So glad. Please leave me alone now. I know you're well meaning, I really do, and I appreciate that you're trying, but this is actually really difficult, and comments like this aren't helpful.
You've chosen to do this, right? So why do you seem unhappy with it?
You're right, I've chosen to do this. I had to weigh up pros and cons, and this is what seemed best. And I'm glad I've chosen it. I know it'll be worth it, I know it's the right choice. Unfortunately, that doesn't make it any easier. I'm still spending another year at the school I've been at for seven years already. I'm still watching people go off and start new lives. I'm still grieving for the gap year I wanted. Yes, this is the right decision. But it's also frustrating and difficult and challenging. I would really appreciate it if you could see that from my point of view, and support me in this.