I've been holding off writing to you for a while, partly because I know that if I start it'll be hard to stop (not just writing to you, writing letters in general) and partly because I really am trying hard to 'move on'. The problem of course is that I'm finding that impossible, and I've realised that I don't actually want to 'move on'. You're everywhere, in some form or another. I'm fed up with people making fun, or treating me like a joke for feeling this way- as someone wise once said 'Never apologise for the way you feel'. I'm trying my best to follow that, so I'm not apologising, and I refuse to be made to feel like myself or my feelings matter less because of the obvious moral/technical problems. At the end of the day, this is still 'the most' I've ever felt in this way, and that matters.
I miss you, Star, and it hurts knowing you don't miss me too. You wait, though. One day I'm going to make you, and others, proud of me. I promise x