I'm the first to tell you that I really do love my life. I get to do the things I'm passionate about, I laugh multiple times every day, I have a thousand things to look forwards to, I start and end each day with a smile, and I get to share it all with some of the most amazing people on this planet. I really do love the life I live each day.
However, that's not to say that it doesn't get stressful, nor to say that there aren't bad times or problems. There are. At the moment, one of the things I'm struggling with is being constantly busy, and constantly 'switched on'. As a lot of what I do is based online, both in 'work' and personal, it can be quite hard to get away from everything. If I'm not at school, or at Brook, or Mentality, then I'm probably writing a blog for here or PBG, or finding an article to post to PBG, or responding to a notification, or participating in a late night discussion with my friends.
I'm not complaining about any of that, because I'm choosing to do all of it, but, as I said before, it does mean that I am constantly 'on', and even breaks can be quite busy. This is really tiring; it also means that, being busy, I don't always have time to give to people and things that are even more deserving of my attention. My sister, for example. I think I blogged about the time she wrote, in a school lesson, 'I love playing with my sister when she isn't busy'. Cue the sound of my heart breaking a little bit. My sister truly is the apple of my eye, and I hate to think that she might not see herself as being first in my life. I feel guilty about that quite a lot, though recently I have been tackling that by making sure I make time for her, with my phone off.
I also have to make sure I look after my mental health. If that slips, then I won't be able to keep doing what I do, and I really really don't want that to happen. One of the strategies I've come up for this is to turn my phone off as a form of self-care. Normally, this happens overnight (I'm a light sleeper, so if my phone is on I am easily woken up by any text, notification or other), when I have a bath (because baths are great for relaxation, and keeping my phone on is just counter-productive) and when I go for long dog walks (this has been a coping mechanism I've used for a while; it's just great to get out by myself, with just the dog and my music for company, and not have to worry about checking my phone). These times have really really worked for helping me to destress a bit.
Turning my phone off is great. It means I can give my full attention to the rest of the world, and it's giving my mind permission not to be constantly alert for the buzz that means I've got to attend to something. We live in a world where social media is taking over, more and more, every day. Whilst I can definitely see the positives in it- this blog being an example!- there's got to be a limit too. I need to stop being on the go. Over the past couple of weeks or so, I've been ill twice. I'm not sleeping so well. I'm feeling ratty and caged in quite a bit. It's becoming clearer and clearer that I really do need a break. So, with a trip away planned for the next few days, I've decided that I'm going to switch off. I'm not checking my Facebook, my Twitter, my email or even this blog. Aside from when it's absolutely necessary, I'm turning my phone off, and leaving it behind. I'm giving myself permission to relax, and to focus completely on me and my family. I'm really looking forward to it.