I really really hate the last day of school before the summer holidays. I mean, really super hate it. It's just blah and weird and I don't know how I feel about it all. So yeah. I get a heck of a lot of support, structure and contact from going to school every day, and losing that is really weird. It just feels so odd walking away from the school building, knowing I won't get all of that for six weeks... However, this summer there's another weird feeling going on too. For almost everyone else in my year, school is now over, forever. Most of my year group friends are talking excitedly about university, or at least jobs and gap years and apprenticeships and what-not. Me? I've got another year to go at sixth form. Obviously, I chose to do this, and I do not regret my decision- it's given me more time to sort my head out, and it means that, ultimately, I will end up where I want to be. I'm also not going to waste my extra year; I have plenty of exciting and fulfilling things lined up! But it's still hard, y'know? For one, I feel a bit out of touch with people; I'm struggling to talk to people in my year, because they're all focused on moving on, and I can't do that. That's a lot of friends I'm finding it difficult to be with right now. In addition, it just feels so same-old same-old, to know that, in the autumn, I'll be returning again. For years I've been planning my gap year; and that hasn't happened. I'm kind of mourning that, I guess. I don't know. I want to leave so badly, to get away and start afresh- and, at the same time, my head's thrown into a spin at the thought of a mere six weeks away. I guess I don't really know what I want at the moment... To those thinking of
doing sixth form over three years- do it, definitely do it, if you think it'll be right for you. But it isn't easy, it really isn't easy.
