Prom

I'm going to be really honest... I didn't enjoy Year 13 prom. It had some good moments, sure (mostly due to my ultra-fabby Head of Year and the Post 16 secretary, who are two utterly wonderful people); but, for the most part, I felt nervous and uncomfortable. It was just a stressful experience. However, I did think I'd share a couple of pictures, just 'cause why not.

Prom Garb

Ready to Go!

Three Musketeers

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18th Birthday...

It's just over a week till my 18th birthday- exciting!! This is the time of year, for me, when people say 'what do you want?', and I jokingly reply 'world peace'. Well, this year I'm changing my answer. This year, I want better research into and treatment for mental illnesses. It's all I've ever wanted, really; it's the one thing I've wanted to change about the world, for as long as I can remember. However, this year I'm doing whatever I can to help us to get there- and I'm asking for your help. If you were planning on getting me a present/card for my birthday, then I've got a small ask for you. Instead of getting me something, I would much much rather you made a donation to my 2015in2015 campaign instead. It's not that I don't appreciate presents, of course I do. It's just, you see, there's really nothing I need- I've got my health and happiness, I've got love and friendship. Mental health research/treatments need funding, and if I can help give them that, then that's what I will do. If you weren't planning on getting me anything then that's totally cool, ignore this status! But if you were, please take a minute to check out www.justgiving.com/2015in2015, and make a donation- it doesn't matter how big or small, it just matters to me that you've made one. Thank you so so much, and I hope you have a beautiful day x

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Easter Sunday

***This is a scheduled post***

Easter Sunday was lovely :) It started off with a lovely dog walk to my favourite place, where I wrote my Easter blog post.

Once I got home we had the choice of giving out the Easter eggs or unwrapping the tie-dye that we'd done the day before... So of course my sister and I chose to unwrap the tie-dye!! It looked super cool- I wore the jumper I did later on in the day :)

After that we went to church for the Easter Sunday service, then headed home for eggs. Around lunchtime, most of the Bristol-based extended family went to my aunt and uncle's house. I helped make the lunch by stirring a sauce that wasn't actually cooking (it was meant to be!!)- it wasn't my fault for once! Lunch was really really lovely- lamb for the meat eaters, and nut roast for the rest of us!!

After lunch we gave out eggs, and had some of our amazing Easter cake, bought from the church fair last week. Inside were loads of M & Ms, so they all came spilling out. It was pretty cool!! 

After chilling for a bit, and playing some Jenga, we went for a dog walk. The weather was really nice, which made it super lovely, and my cousins and I enjoyed exploring- we climbed over the river to an island. I almost died/fell in, but thankfully I rescued myself!! We also went on a rope swing, which was good. Ooh, and played Pooh Sticks!!

Following that, we went back to my aunt & uncle's for dinner, then played some games before heading home. A lovely Easter Sunday!

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Easter Sunday

It's Easter Sunday, and I am sat in my favourite place. It's deserted aside from me, and the weather is gorgeous- warm and sunny, but with a bit of a breeze. It's the perfect Spring day, and I am in the perfect Spring mood.

Last year I hated Easter. I dislike celebrating things blindly, and that's what I was doing. Easter had nothing in it for me- but I still had to pretend like it did. This year is different. I'm not an Easter fanatic, I would still somewhat rather it wasn't happening, bur there has been some reconciliation too. 

My faith has changed a little over the last year. Not completely, and I still don't feel comfortable talking about it, but there has been some shift, I think, and that's helped how I feel today.

However, the biggest 'factor' is that I have found something to link Easter to. Christmas, for me, is about love, hope, gratitude... Well, right now I am searching for a new beginning. I want chicks and rabbits, because I want to find yet more evidence of lift going on. I want to start again, to start afresh, not the person I was, but with her still firmly at my core. That's what Easter is, to me, today. It's about forgiveness, second chances and being able to begin again.

Happy Easter :)

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Easter Craft Fair 2015

For the past two years (2013 and 2014), I've helped out at an Easter craft fair at my local church. This year was no different, and I've spent the first morning of the Easter holidays helping children to make 'egg nets'!

The craft fairs are always set up with children's activities in one hall, and stalls selling stuff in another hall. 

As well as that, the church cafe serves food and drinks in part of the stall hall.

Between the two, we got a pretty good crowd- almost 100 children turned up in the three hours, so we were really busy!! I was quite glad when it was over, and we got to flop for a bit, bacon butties and coffee in hand!! However it was super good, and I loved helping out- feeling all ready for spring now too!!

Now got a couple of hours to do revision (and just crash for a bit!) before heading out to announce at a swimming gala. Busy busy busy (though I wouldn't have it aaaany other way!!).

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Christmas Bits and Bobs

I know, I know- it's the 9th of January, Christmas has come and gone, what on earth am I doing writing a Christmas post?! Well, unfortunately, I've not been very well since Christmas, and so I've not had a chance to put an update as to what I did over the festive period. However, as the blog forms a large part of a diary for me, I wanted to write something, both because I took some lovely pictures that I want to share, and because I want to have something to look back on! So allow me a small bit of Christmas reflection :)

On Christmas Eve, I took Ginny for a long dog walk, which was very relaxing and just generally really lovely. Pictured below is the view from where I was sat when I wrote my Christmas post.

After I'd walked the dog, I went home, lit some candles, put Frozen on and got all my wrapping done- talk about last minute! However, I'm pleased that I left it until then as it was a perfect way to spend Christmas Eve!

After a late night due to Christmas excitement and Midnight Mass, I got up early, opened my stocking, then went out for another long dog walk. Though it doesn't happen very often due to bad sleeping habits, I do really like early morning dog walks, and being out on Christmas Morning was especially nice as everyone I met stopped to exchange Christmas greetings! Plus the weather was just right for an early morning dog walk, and it was a good way to gather my thoughts before a very busy day :)

The rest of my Christmas day was spent going to church, opening presents, seeing family, having Christmas dinner and playing lots of games! It was a super good day, and couldn't have been better really!!

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On Boxing Day, my family went to the zoo! Myself and the older section of my cousins went off by ourselves, though we kept bumping into the rest of the family, and had lots of fun looking around. The weather wasn't great as it was rainy, but it was quiet, which is pretty unusual for Bristol Zoo!

After the zoo, we went back to my aunt's house for present-opening, food, games and more time spent with family (including getting to see my uber-cute little cousin for the second time since she was born!!).

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After Christmas, we went to spend time with my family in Manchester. We had a really lovely few days, involving a trip into Manchester centre and a day spent in Liverpool, where we went to the docks and checked out the birthplace of the Beatles- both very exciting!! The only downside was that travel was really awful- on the way there because of the snow (which was actually pretty poor as far as we went- proven in the picture below!).

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Lastly, the holidays ended with a pre-NY party with friends- and being ill until the rest of the holidays. Fun times!!

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2014: Year in Review

I wrote a 'Year in Review' post last year, and it was really fun to look back on- so I thought I'd do one for 2014. Enjoy- my 2014!

January

I entered 2014 dressed as a unicorn, which pretty much set a precedent for a whole year of weird and wonderful things! In the early days of 2014, I held the final part of the Christmas festivities, in the form of 'WombBudMas'! I had a very cultured week, with both stand up comedy and a Shostakovich concert. I also faced one of hardest moments of my life, when I found out that my ankle problems were not fixable, meaning that I had to say goodbye to my life as a swimmer. However, there was also a beginning- our AS Music class started up 'The Great Music Bake Off'. Hilarity ensued. Finally for January, I was very pleased with the school's new display, and with my new top, and with the combination of the two!

February

In February, the folk band I play in held our third ceilidh, which was great fun. The Winter Olympics began in Sochi, resulting in a post on my views around the issue, as well as a performance by myself and BB to raise awareness of the situation. I 'treated' (I think that's the word?!) the blog to a 'week in the life of ScribbleDuck'- mostly banana costumes, cake and Cat Family. I then had a very busy half term, involving a Musketeer reunion, a YCV trip on the Matthew and a (picture-heavy!) Bristol trip with the WombBuds.

March

In March, the blog became a bit bare. I thought that I couldn't possibly have had a quiet month, and checked through my Facebook stuff. It's true. I had a quiet month! March mainly involved making big decisions/ranting at Gove and going away with the WombBuds and the youth group that BKPS is part of! Umm, I also got reflective, and wrote about a murderess. Fun fun fun!

April

As if to compensate for March, April was busy busy busy from the off! At the beginning, I went to Cardiff Open Day with the WombBuds, which was great fun! Then there was the recital evening to contend with (the less said on this the better!), as well as a chance to party for YSD's 18th. In fact, March was a month filled with the Cat Family- we had a 'composition day' (please note the quotation marks!), made the most of a revision day, genuinely held a Beethoven party (with not much Beethoven), and had a revision picnic. It was beautiful. It was also a really good month for my mental health (pretty sure there's a strong correlation between Cat Fam and positive mental health!) as I finally had 'a good term' and opened up about my mental health. More (!) important things that happened in March revolved around becoming me- I claimed the title of 'Ms' and got my rook pierced (which, I would like to add, I am still utterly in love with). However, that's not all! In addition, I went to the Land of Books, tried out some graffitti, chilled with the little cousin and helped out at a craft fair. April was a good month :)

May

 May was just as busy as April, and just as good. Although I has AS exams, they only lasted a week or so, meaning that I was very quickly free!! I used my time to enjoy the beautiful weather and to make a start on redecorating my ceiling. Other highlights included meeting Sunetra Sarker (she was lovely!), going to Barcelona, taking some time out for myself and spending an evening at BB's abode (with BB and GS!!). Speaking of GS, May had some sad moments as our Music class went from four people to three... :( May was also a big month in terms of the world in general, with the awful kidnappings of the Nigerian schoolgirls, Mental Health Awareness Week and IDAHOT (for which I posted a beautiful piece by BB). Lastly, I wrote a guest blog... Woo!

June

 Whilst we're on the subject of big months... June started out tamely enough, with a family day out to the Wallace and Gromit exhibition. Things got busier from then onwards- for example, the very next day was a WombBud day out! One of the biggest parts of June (for me, anyway!) was turning 17. I celebrated by going to Bath, and having the world's fabbiest picnic. Thinking back, June was pretty filled with landmark events: it was a year since I shaved my hair off, the ceiling redecoration was completed, I challenged my body image- and I joined the team at PBG!!! Oooh, and I went to the Young Carers Festival!!

July

July was one of those months that blog readers hate. A couple of pretty big things happened in July. Pretty big things which, aside from saying that they were definitely positive and life-changing, I'm still refusing to blog about. (Though having been back through my July posts, I chuckled greatly at some of my 'subtle' references). Anyway, July! School finished for the year- and I made a pretty big education decision. Some of my friends performed at the National Theatre, so we went to London to watch them (and I took touristy pics!) With the absence of school, I did work experience (which involved lots of vegetables) and took my Level Two Swim Teaching course. I was disappointed that the course was held on the same dates as three of the biggest celebrations in Bristol; however, I still managed to spend some time at both the Harbour Festival and Pride (which was the bestest!). There were celebrations all round as the WombBuds celebrated my birthday, and PCH turned 18! Speaking of the WombBuds, we had a great day out exploring Bristol, made all the better by the beautiful sun. Other notable events from July include this blog's second birthday, and my first encounter with the Playground Cafe. I had a lot to be thankful for!! However, July wasn't without it's sadder moments, such as my reflections on heroes, and saying goodbye to the Cat Family as we knew it. On the other hand, July also involved me meeting one of the best people ever... (Caitlin Moran, as featured above, but if the shoe fits...) (I swear that wasn't a reference to anyyyything).

August

Another huge month! I took part in the NCS scheme, which involved a residential, meeting Bristol-based charities, media training, volunteering, and- most importantly- holding a 24 hour sponsored sleep-out! Another very very exciting event was going back to Efteling (one of my absolute favourite places ever!). As well as the bigger events, there were plenty of smaller ones- such as the Cat Family barbeque, more adventures in hair dye and a trip to the Balloon Fiesta. August was also a pretty big month in terms of developing as a person- I spoke on the radio about mental health, and finally shared the less pretty parts of realising I wasn't straight, and blogged about the #JustHuman campaign. There were other more serious moments, such as results day and the death of Robin Williams. Finally, August ended with one of the best experiences of my life- my trip to London, which was touristy, feministy and just generally bloody amazing. OOOH, also, COLOUR ME RAD!

September

In September, I returned to sixth form for my second year of studying. In the time I wasn't at school, I went back to the Playground Cafe, took a trip to Clevedon and got a paragraph of writing published. In addition, I did the impossible (hehe) and enjoyed a night of (very good!) comedy. Autumn arrived- and I had a super duper trip to London!!!

October

 October began with reflection- both on friendships, and on my grief over losing swimming. However, it was just as busy as the rest of the year, with World Mental Health Day, for which I helped to organise a major event. As well as this, I took lots of pictures, both of my half term, and of Bristol by night (of course!). During half-term, I went to London to speak to decision-makers within the NHS about Young Carers, and went to both Thorpe Park and Chessington World of Adventures, both of which were fabbity. Finally, my absolute highlight of the month was going to see Caitlin Moran with CF- and getting to meet her after!!

November

November. Ah yes. This month just so happened to contain the absolute best ever night of my life: seeing Heather Peace at the Thekla, and hanging around to meet her (and cry on her...) after. All in brilliant company! Other highlights from November include Reclaim the Night, BB's birthday thing, the Disney themed fancy dress party, and Mentality's trip to London.

December

Lastly, December! This has been a harder month, something I elaborated upon a little earlier in the month. However, there were still good moments, such as all of Bristol (or something like that!) turning out for the Clifton Suspension Bridge fireworks, our trip to Clothes Show Live, and the Midnight Fairies fourth ceilidh. Even the festive period kept up with the year's theme of business, with plenty of Christmas fun, a great Christmas Day, a trip to the Zoo and some time in Manchester!

Whew! Just looking back on that I feel pretty exhausted... I hadn't really realised how busy my year's been until now. Busy, but also very good. Thank you, 2014. Here's hoping that 2015 will be equally amazing (or better!). Sending love and wishes for a very happy New Year!

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Christmas Thoughts

I am writing this sat in one of my favourite places- a hill, near enough where I live to walk to, from which you get a good view of the city. Or at least, the city lights. I decided that, no matter what, I wanted to spend some time here this Christmas Eve- partly as it's a good place to reflect and gather my thoughts, and partly just to revel in the sheer beauty.

Whilst I'm here, I want to write my Christmas post. In previous years, this has been written quite late at night, if not very early on Christmas morning. But now I am here, and it is the perfect time to reflect.

It's Christmas. One of my absolute favourite times of the year. Why? Because it's full of love, and goodwill, and humanity. In short, because it's beautiful. At Christmas, people come together in ways they don't at any other time. People are more charitable, and think more of others. The air feels a little more full of love and happiness.

However, to talk just about the good would be to forget that there is a less pretty side. In many countries, there are wars going on, with thousands of needless deaths. There are people living in poverty, both in our country and further away. There are people with physical or mental health difficulties that make enjoying this season both difficult, and downright impossible. This is not an exhaustive list, and to dismiss any of these people would be to dismiss the idea of Christmas. I am thinking of you.

I want to use this post to talk, just like in previous years, about Christmas 1914: when the soldiers laid down their weapons, and celebrated together, no more English and German than human and human. To me, this is what Christmas is: a time not to take sides, but to remember that we are all equal, all human, all worthy. I wish this feeling could last for longer than Christmas- but to have it once a year is far better than nothing.

Part of me wants to write more, to go on and on about the beauty of this time, to try and inspire others. However, I'm not sure there's much more I can say, and from where I'm sat it feels like I have the whole world to gaze upon. So I will do that instead, revelling in this beautiful beautiful moment, the lights clear in the crisp dark air. A chance to catch my breath.

To everyone, I wish the happiest Christmas possible. More than presents, I am sending you hope, goodwill, and- most of all- love.

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Bumper Christmas Post

As you can probably tell from my lack of blogging, I've been super super busy with Christmassy stuff recently. I wanted to post about different events separately, but I think it'll just take too long- so call this a bumper post of Christmas bits!!
My first 'exciting event' was going to see the pantomime with Young Carers. It was really good, and I enjoyed being a kid again in clapping along and joining in with all the audience participation bits!

Last weekend, I helped out with the local church's Christmas fair. I was in charge of one of the kids activities, where they made a silver sequinned bell. It was a lot of fun, but there was lots and lots to clear up afterwards!!

On Sunday, there was another party to help out with, this time one at my aunt's workplace. My mum and I did glitter tattoos for a couple of hours- as with the previous, it was fun, but got very messy very quickly!

On the last Wednesday of term, I had a day similar to last year, with Christmas events left, right and centre! The Sofa Gang had our Secret Santa present swap, which was great fun, and very cute.

It was also the school's music concert, which meant we had choir rehearsals during the day. It also meant that several members (though not all, unfortunately) of the Cat Family came back in, which was so good!! Also no flash mob, sadly- but, after the concert, GS and I had great fun, involving an upside down life-size Santa cut-out and the Music office. I think this warrants it's own post soonish!

Thursday evening heralded the swimming club's Christmas meal, for teachers, parents and Masters swimmers. It was an all-you-can-eat- hence I ate far too much, and I was so tired that I was practically asleep by the end! But it was good to see everyone in an informal setting.

 

As it probably sounds, it was a pretty exhausting week, and by Friday I was more than ready to crash- which I did by having a candlelit bath and decorating my room. A pretty perfect way to unwind and recharge!

Saturday and Sunday were both quieter days, spent doing Christmas present preparation. On Sunday evening I helped to run a fun session for the swimming kids, then went to the youth group Christmas party. Due to a key kerfuffle we ended up locked out of the building we're usually based in, so we had to find an alternative- which ended up being the local shopping centre! I'm sure we got a lot of odd looks, and we did get a bit of a reprimand for doing a human pyramid in the middle... Hehe! Also, I discovered the power of wearing glitter...

 

Yesterday (Monday), it was time for Mentality's Christmas event. We had a treasure hunt around the German Christmas Market, then finished with a very welcome trip to ZaZa Bazaar, a very popular all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant in Bristol. There was much hilarity and it was a lovely afternoon/evening.In the picture, you can see the 'hairstyle' that one of my friends attempted on my hair. Yes, that is a cracker...

 

When I got back home on Monday evening, my sister, my mum and I decorated the tree/living room. It now looks all lovely and Christmassy!!

Finally, today I had Christmas with the Womb-Buds- we went ice skating, meandered around town, went to St Nick's Market, had bubble tea, got Kinder Eggs and explored the various Oriental supermarkets in the central area. All in all, a very lovely day!!

Phew!! It's been exhausting just going through all that I've done, never mind living it in the first place! However, it's all been fabbity, and I am very very excited for the next few days!!

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