Earlier this week I had a meeting with people from the Indigo Project, which provides support for young people who self-harm. I found the meeting both interesting and helpful; I want to outline some of the things that were mentioned in hopes that they will help others.
Firstly, the science behind self-harm. When people self-harm, it releases chemicals in the brain very similar to those released through heroin. These cause the person to feel relaxed and calm for a short amount of time. However, also like heroin, this feeling isn't 'true' happiness, but becomes addictive. As time progresses, self-harm gets worse to provide these feelings as the body becomes immune but dependent.
From this, my first point- if ever you even feel like self-harming, it's worth speaking to someone as soon as possible. Don't try and kid yourself by thinking that you 'haven't done it yet' so it's 'not serious'; it's better to try and sort things out before they get worse rather than leaving things and leaving things until you get to a far worse situation. Please, if at all possible, get help before you do anything else.
Secondly, it was noted that although the bulk of the scratches on my arm aren't visible, some can be seen. Though even I wasn't sure why I don't completely cover up, the people from the Project helped me to realise that, subconciously, I'm hoping that someone will see and notice that I'm not okay. They hastened to add that this isn't attention-seeking at all- in fact, in a way it's healthier than covering up. It's just my body's way of trying to get the help my brain feels I need. It's also likely to be related to being the 'agony aunt' in my friendship group; though I am the one who helps others, I find it hard to convey when I'm upset myself.
Thirdly, I was introduced to the '15 Minute Distraction' way of looking at self-harm. This is completely different to anything else I've encountered, and deserves a blog post of it's own, sometime this week.
Lastly, the thing that scared me slightly yet which I found incredibly comforting was how much the people from the Project were able to work out, and tell me, just from my body language, science, experience and the things I said. They told me things I didn't know about myself; or, maybe, things I refused to admit to myself.
Here's the link to the Indigo Project website- http://www.indigoproject.co.uk/index.htm. If you feel you need help, it's honestly worth gettting in contact with them.