You did good mate. So pleased and proud of everyone who voted to ensure that the right thing happened!! Another day, another step towards equality; another big step of love. (I'm totes not crying) (Oh but I so am) (And now I have to cope with Eurovision)
Showing posts with label lgbtq. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lgbtq. Show all posts
Saturday, 23 May 2015
Friday, 8 May 2015
Pride!
There are many things I could post about today. It has not been the best of days in all sorts of ways. However, as we sang along to the radio earlier, always look on the bright side of life. There have been some golden moments, and it has ended very well indeed: myself, BB, RM and RH got together to finally finally watch Pride. If you're familiar with me, you're probably shocked that I hadn't seen it before (like the very day it came to the cinema?!); I'm pretty shocked too, to be honest. I'm just not great with films I guess. However, having seen it, I am utterly in love (and not just with Steph, one of the main female characters). If you haven't heard of it, Pride is a film that came out last year. It's all based on true events (and even real people!) and is set in the Thatcher era. At the time, LGBTQ+ people were being heavily persecuted, with Thatcher introducing legislature that worsened this. However, whilst holding the annual gay Pride event, one of the men came up with an idea- to show solidarity, and support others who were being persecuted. You see, it wasn't just the LGBTQ+ who Thatcher didn't like; it was the miners, too. And, whilst at the time they were too hugely different groups, they were up against similar things- so a group was formed (Lesbians and Gays Supporting Miners- or LGSM) and they started raising money. The next issue was that they couldn't find any miners unions that would accept the money. After all, who would want to be associated with gay people?! Especially gay people who actually want to help & support you! However, LGSM were undettered- they found a small mining town, and contacted them directly. What happened next made history. The two groups of people- the LGSM and the Dulais miners- did not click instantly. It was a huge battle, and there were huge odds to overcome. However, thanks to the perseverance of certain individuals, they rallied on, and changed a hell of a lot of minds, proving that, just by holding hands, you can do a whole lot of good. The movie ends with a jubilant and moving Pride march through London, and some tying up of the real events: a few years later, the Labour government passed legislation to protect LGBT people. This was,in part, thanks to the huge support from the miners. It's an amazing, amazing story, and I think the film did it great justice. There are some amazing characters (some of whom are based on real people, which is even more amazing), some laugh out loud moments, and some genuinely beautiful teary moments. I don't cry at films often, but this one? Well... Bawling like a baby!! It made me feel happy and sad and angry, but most of all it made me feel proud- both of the people who fought for our rights, and for the openly gay woman that I am. If you haven't seen Pride yet, what are you waiting for?! Go forth and watch!!
Friday, 10 April 2015
Possibly The Best Day Ever
On Thursday, I had possibly the best day ever... It really shouldn't have been good, seeing as I'd had a rough night the night before. However, despite my exhaustion, it was super super good. I spent the day with people from Mentality, filming for our new campaign. That was very productive- everything's now been filmed, and I should be able to share that in a month or two. It was also lovely to spend time with the people I was working with, and just to chill with them. Plus we took the world's cutest selfie.
Afterwards, Rosalind and I hung around for a bit of a meet & greet. Firstly, we had to work out where to wait, which took a while, and involved lots of circling the building... Once we'd finally worked out where we should be, we had to wait for aages... However, we got chatting to the people around us, and that passed the time a lot quicker- yay for new friends!! ^.^ And, of course, HP was totally worth it <3 She was absolutely lovely & adorable & yayayayay. I gave her a letter I'd written, and she signed my notebook, and made an accidental sexual innuendo (at which point I think my whole world changed dramatically) and yeah it was amazing <3 In a parallel universe somewhere, there is justice, and we are married. Agh. My heart. I could talk about this wonderful woman for hours...
Thursday, 2 April 2015
Mirror Mirror: Body Hair
It's dangerously near midnight, I've got a super long day tomorrow, I'm exhausted... I really should be asleep. However, my body seems to have any ideas, and I'm feeling pretty bloody awake. Insert expletive here. On the other hand, this does mean that I now have time- so have a blog post. This evening, I'm talking about body hair :) Also- I feel I need to put a disclaimer- this post just represents my thoughts & feelings. I'm not talking for anyone but myself. Everyone is beautiful, and your choices on shaving etc. don't affect any of that. This is just my experience!
To talk about body hair, and my feelings towards it, we firstly need to have a bit of NotRebecca history. This probably isn't going to be fully coherent, never mind well-written. I've never really spoken at length about this, and definitely not considered posting it online. This is a bit weird, and slightly scary.
Anyway. NotRebecca history. So- I've always been the weird one. We know that, right? I embrace it. I love being weird, because it's who I am, and there's no changing that. However, it's not always been that way... The reason I embrace my weirdness so much now is because, once upon a time, it was the bane of my life. I've always been 'different', in ways that I guess I can't really explain. A bit hyperactive. Sometimes too loud; at other times very quiet. I become quite obsessed with things- Harry Potter, bears, hair dye... I wear the clothes I like. I'm not interested in fashion, or fitting in. I was never one to gossip over boys, or anything like that. Individually, it doesn't sound like much. When I read back over it, I'm just describing myself. But I'm 17 now, and my life is filled with the people I love; the people who love me back. It hasn't always been that way. Whilst I don't think I was ever bullied, there were lots of people, in primary and secondary school, who thought I was a bit 'too' weird. They didn't know how to react to me- so some of them weren't very nice. It was nothing major. In primary school, I remember playing by myself a lot- because no one else wanted to play with me; in secondary, I was aware of people talking about me behind my back. I was 'uncool' because I liked Harry Potter, and I liked school. There was at least one nickname that wasn't too nice. Again, it doesn't sound like much. But, at the time, it was difficult. At times, I just really wanted to fit it. I wanted to find out the secret to being popular, and liked- and, to me, that was synonymous with being good at- well, being a girl. That was what all the 'popular' girls seemed to have in common- that they were just good at being feminine. So I aspired to that.
How does this link to body hair? Well, when you're being teased already, you sure as hell don't want to give the people teasing you anything else to use. We were girls, hitting puberty. People were talking about periods, shaving and so on and so forth. I quickly realised that shaving was something that needed to be done- if I didn't, I was scared stiff that I'd be teased for my body hair, on top of everything else. To be a girl, you had to shave. That was pretty clear.
However, I didn't get how- and that scared me even more. I tried shaving my arm hair, because I thought it was too obvious; then I overheard someone making a negative comment about girls who shaved their arms, and I was terrified I would be found out. I shaved my legs- and left more small nicks than anything else. The girls in my class, and the shaved legs on TV, didn't have any of the small cuts that peppered my legs. I was worried that I'd be teased for those, too, for making it obvious that I shaved. Each one of those cuts was proof that I failed at being a girl- and each one could be ammunition for more teasing. Armpits I could handle, just about- but one day stubble, and I resolutely kept my arms down, just in case. Downstairs was too terrifying to contemplate, though, as a swimmer, it was unavoidable. I wore a swimming costume with shorts for a while, and avoided anything that said 'high legs'; much of my changing time was spent tugging at the bottom of my costume, making sure nothing could be seen, scared that someone would realise that- shock horror- there were a couple of stray hairs peeking out.
As you can see, it was a pretty fraught area. However, it wasn't just the opinion of others I was worried about. My own internalised views about body hair were pretty strong, too. Get ready- I associated body hair with those weird lesbian feminist things. Disgusting, right?! I couldn't possibly be one of those, nor could I internally identify myself as one. That was another reason that I shaved.
So that was the whys. That's my shaving story. However, over the past year or so, several things have happened. Notably, the whole lesbian feminist thing. Through being an out and proud lesbian and feminist, I've met some incredible people- some with body hair, some without. Last summer, I went up to London for two days, to hang out with some of the most amazing people I know. At the time, at least two of them had very visible armpit hair. I was fascinated, because, for them, it was such a normal thing. They were people I loved and admired, and they had armpit hair, and that was fine. For someone who had spent so much of her life seeing hair as a bad thing, associated with bad things, that was a really landmark point. Then, at some point around then, a friend posted a picture of her hairy legs on Facebook. The whole post became a bit of a battleground- but the stupidity of the arguments against body hair really got to me. 'Boys don't like it' sticks out in my memory as the main one. To me, this was important for two reasons- firstly, why the hell would I care what boys think?! And, secondly, even if I did, why should that change anything about how I act and I choose to appear? It's my body. I get to do what I want with it. Lastly, in September, one of my very close friends did an amazing speech on self love. For me, that was the final piece of the puzzle. My body and I- we don't get on. The body love is, unfortunately, not very strong here. But, as my wonderful friend pointed out, we only have one body. I realised then that, if I never tried to challenge my beliefs about my body, then I would spend a lifetime hating myself. That was a really scary thought. I decided I needed to change that, to get to a point where I was happy with the land I inhabit. From that realisation came another- how can I love my body when I am choosing to remove part of it every few days? How can I ever love my body when, really, I don't know what it is, in it's natural form.* In spite of the assumptions most people made- that I wasn't shaving purely to be an angry defiant feminist- my decision was fueled almost entirely by self-love. And that's one of the biggest forms of anarchy, really. Also, my experiences with both feminism and the LGBTQ+ community made me see that there really is no way to be a 'good' girl- that everyone is different, everyone presents differently, gender is a different thing for everyone.
After that, I let my leg hair grow. A while later, I let my armpit hair grow. It doesn't sound like much. For me, it was. For me, growing my hair was opening myself up to being vulnerable, and maybe being teased. But, I realised, I wasn't the young, scared girl I once was. I had become more comfortable in myself- I had embraced being weird. I was ready to let my hair down- quite literally.
As I stopped shaving just before the winter months, it was quite a while before anyone saw the fruit of my efforts (I know that sounds weird, but you get what I mean right?!). The first time anyone did, I was terrified. I was in a Law lesson, and it was hot, and I was wearing a jumper over my vest top. So- I took my jumper off. And? And the girls sat next to me started whispering and looking my way. It might not have been about me. It probably wasn't about me. That didn't matter- I was still convinced that it was. However- it was okay. I wasn't 13 anymore, and scared of being found out for not being good enough at being feminine. I was 17, and I knew that femininity was a concept and didn't define my self worth. I was 17, and I had chosen not to shave my armpits, and that was fine.
I rocked the unshaved look for a good few months, including a trip to Gambia that involved lots and lots of visible armpits/legs. I got some odd looks. I had to answer questions about it. But having the hair actually made me feel really empowered. I felt like I was kicking patriarchy in the face, just by wearing a vest top. It was cool, and I was in control. However, recently I chose to shave again. This was not a decision I made lightly. In terms of my legs, it was something to do with liking the feel of shaved legs. That sounds weird. But you get what I mean, right? For my armpits, it was more complicated. I have really prominent scarring on my arms, and that draws enough attention as it is. At the moment, I'm not entirely comfortable with that. Having armpit hair only made that attention worse, and in the end I decided that I needed to be comfortable with my scars before adding anything else to the mix. There was part of me that felt like a 'bad feminist' for shaving- again, this need to be 'good' at whatever I identify with and represent. Obviously, that's rubbish- there are plenty of feminists who shave, and plenty who don't. When I realised that I felt that way, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave again, just to try and get over this need to be 'good'. Right now I am choosing to shave my armpits and my legs. It's a flexible thing. I'm sure that in the future I'll go through times of being unshaven; and equally sure that I'll have times of being shaven. It doesn't change anything. It's just a choice I'm making at the time. And that's fine.
Reading over, I'm not sure that made much sense. It's late. I'm tired. It's a subject I don't feel entirely confident talking about, but one I feel I need to discuss all the same. Feel free to ask questions etc. Have a beautiful day, and big love xo
*This is just my experience- of course people can love their body and shave. These were just my thoughts at the time.
Anyway. NotRebecca history. So- I've always been the weird one. We know that, right? I embrace it. I love being weird, because it's who I am, and there's no changing that. However, it's not always been that way... The reason I embrace my weirdness so much now is because, once upon a time, it was the bane of my life. I've always been 'different', in ways that I guess I can't really explain. A bit hyperactive. Sometimes too loud; at other times very quiet. I become quite obsessed with things- Harry Potter, bears, hair dye... I wear the clothes I like. I'm not interested in fashion, or fitting in. I was never one to gossip over boys, or anything like that. Individually, it doesn't sound like much. When I read back over it, I'm just describing myself. But I'm 17 now, and my life is filled with the people I love; the people who love me back. It hasn't always been that way. Whilst I don't think I was ever bullied, there were lots of people, in primary and secondary school, who thought I was a bit 'too' weird. They didn't know how to react to me- so some of them weren't very nice. It was nothing major. In primary school, I remember playing by myself a lot- because no one else wanted to play with me; in secondary, I was aware of people talking about me behind my back. I was 'uncool' because I liked Harry Potter, and I liked school. There was at least one nickname that wasn't too nice. Again, it doesn't sound like much. But, at the time, it was difficult. At times, I just really wanted to fit it. I wanted to find out the secret to being popular, and liked- and, to me, that was synonymous with being good at- well, being a girl. That was what all the 'popular' girls seemed to have in common- that they were just good at being feminine. So I aspired to that.
How does this link to body hair? Well, when you're being teased already, you sure as hell don't want to give the people teasing you anything else to use. We were girls, hitting puberty. People were talking about periods, shaving and so on and so forth. I quickly realised that shaving was something that needed to be done- if I didn't, I was scared stiff that I'd be teased for my body hair, on top of everything else. To be a girl, you had to shave. That was pretty clear.
However, I didn't get how- and that scared me even more. I tried shaving my arm hair, because I thought it was too obvious; then I overheard someone making a negative comment about girls who shaved their arms, and I was terrified I would be found out. I shaved my legs- and left more small nicks than anything else. The girls in my class, and the shaved legs on TV, didn't have any of the small cuts that peppered my legs. I was worried that I'd be teased for those, too, for making it obvious that I shaved. Each one of those cuts was proof that I failed at being a girl- and each one could be ammunition for more teasing. Armpits I could handle, just about- but one day stubble, and I resolutely kept my arms down, just in case. Downstairs was too terrifying to contemplate, though, as a swimmer, it was unavoidable. I wore a swimming costume with shorts for a while, and avoided anything that said 'high legs'; much of my changing time was spent tugging at the bottom of my costume, making sure nothing could be seen, scared that someone would realise that- shock horror- there were a couple of stray hairs peeking out.
As you can see, it was a pretty fraught area. However, it wasn't just the opinion of others I was worried about. My own internalised views about body hair were pretty strong, too. Get ready- I associated body hair with those weird lesbian feminist things. Disgusting, right?! I couldn't possibly be one of those, nor could I internally identify myself as one. That was another reason that I shaved.
So that was the whys. That's my shaving story. However, over the past year or so, several things have happened. Notably, the whole lesbian feminist thing. Through being an out and proud lesbian and feminist, I've met some incredible people- some with body hair, some without. Last summer, I went up to London for two days, to hang out with some of the most amazing people I know. At the time, at least two of them had very visible armpit hair. I was fascinated, because, for them, it was such a normal thing. They were people I loved and admired, and they had armpit hair, and that was fine. For someone who had spent so much of her life seeing hair as a bad thing, associated with bad things, that was a really landmark point. Then, at some point around then, a friend posted a picture of her hairy legs on Facebook. The whole post became a bit of a battleground- but the stupidity of the arguments against body hair really got to me. 'Boys don't like it' sticks out in my memory as the main one. To me, this was important for two reasons- firstly, why the hell would I care what boys think?! And, secondly, even if I did, why should that change anything about how I act and I choose to appear? It's my body. I get to do what I want with it. Lastly, in September, one of my very close friends did an amazing speech on self love. For me, that was the final piece of the puzzle. My body and I- we don't get on. The body love is, unfortunately, not very strong here. But, as my wonderful friend pointed out, we only have one body. I realised then that, if I never tried to challenge my beliefs about my body, then I would spend a lifetime hating myself. That was a really scary thought. I decided I needed to change that, to get to a point where I was happy with the land I inhabit. From that realisation came another- how can I love my body when I am choosing to remove part of it every few days? How can I ever love my body when, really, I don't know what it is, in it's natural form.* In spite of the assumptions most people made- that I wasn't shaving purely to be an angry defiant feminist- my decision was fueled almost entirely by self-love. And that's one of the biggest forms of anarchy, really. Also, my experiences with both feminism and the LGBTQ+ community made me see that there really is no way to be a 'good' girl- that everyone is different, everyone presents differently, gender is a different thing for everyone.
After that, I let my leg hair grow. A while later, I let my armpit hair grow. It doesn't sound like much. For me, it was. For me, growing my hair was opening myself up to being vulnerable, and maybe being teased. But, I realised, I wasn't the young, scared girl I once was. I had become more comfortable in myself- I had embraced being weird. I was ready to let my hair down- quite literally.
As I stopped shaving just before the winter months, it was quite a while before anyone saw the fruit of my efforts (I know that sounds weird, but you get what I mean right?!). The first time anyone did, I was terrified. I was in a Law lesson, and it was hot, and I was wearing a jumper over my vest top. So- I took my jumper off. And? And the girls sat next to me started whispering and looking my way. It might not have been about me. It probably wasn't about me. That didn't matter- I was still convinced that it was. However- it was okay. I wasn't 13 anymore, and scared of being found out for not being good enough at being feminine. I was 17, and I knew that femininity was a concept and didn't define my self worth. I was 17, and I had chosen not to shave my armpits, and that was fine.
I rocked the unshaved look for a good few months, including a trip to Gambia that involved lots and lots of visible armpits/legs. I got some odd looks. I had to answer questions about it. But having the hair actually made me feel really empowered. I felt like I was kicking patriarchy in the face, just by wearing a vest top. It was cool, and I was in control. However, recently I chose to shave again. This was not a decision I made lightly. In terms of my legs, it was something to do with liking the feel of shaved legs. That sounds weird. But you get what I mean, right? For my armpits, it was more complicated. I have really prominent scarring on my arms, and that draws enough attention as it is. At the moment, I'm not entirely comfortable with that. Having armpit hair only made that attention worse, and in the end I decided that I needed to be comfortable with my scars before adding anything else to the mix. There was part of me that felt like a 'bad feminist' for shaving- again, this need to be 'good' at whatever I identify with and represent. Obviously, that's rubbish- there are plenty of feminists who shave, and plenty who don't. When I realised that I felt that way, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave again, just to try and get over this need to be 'good'. Right now I am choosing to shave my armpits and my legs. It's a flexible thing. I'm sure that in the future I'll go through times of being unshaven; and equally sure that I'll have times of being shaven. It doesn't change anything. It's just a choice I'm making at the time. And that's fine.
Reading over, I'm not sure that made much sense. It's late. I'm tired. It's a subject I don't feel entirely confident talking about, but one I feel I need to discuss all the same. Feel free to ask questions etc. Have a beautiful day, and big love xo
Tuesday, 30 December 2014
42) Become more involved in LGBT issues etc.
***This is a scheduled post***
This year I applied to become a Stonewall Young Volunteer. Actually, I didn't just apply. I got selected. It felt pretty cool, and I was really proud of myself- until I realised that, to take the volunteering 'course', I had to attend a training weekend that just so happened to be the same weekend as Heather Peace. I didn't really think twice, I wanted to go to Heather Peace so badly. Hence, I had to give up my place, which was a bit sucky. However, there are two positives- firstly, I know my application was good enough. Secondly, I can apply again in 2015, and hopefully things will work out for the better. I also feel that this does demonstrate more awareness in LGBT issues; as does mine and BB's performance for Russia, and my insistent wearing of a variety of badges (and top!!), and everything else that I aim to do as much as possible. I consider this one complete. Obviously, I can always always be doing a million times more, but I have become more involved than I was.
Monday, 10 November 2014
Latest PBG post!
My latest blog post for Powered by Girl can be found here- a piece about my attempts to be gender inclusive as a swimming teacher :)
Friday, 7 November 2014
HEATHER PEACE CAN WE JUST
On Saturday, myself and CF went to a very exciting gig- the one and
only Heather Peace!! Anyone who's been following this blog for a while
might remember some of the posts from when I first discovered Heather;
if not, links can be found here and here!
For those totally
confused- which is a lot of people!- Heather Peace is probably best
known as Nikki Boston, the English teacher from Waterloo Road. She was
also Sam Murray on Lip Service. However, in addition to acting, she is a
singer/songwriter/musician, and has also become a bit of an LGBT
figurehead. Heather Peace, aside from being at the very top of my
'celebrities I'm in love with list', is also one of my biggest role
models. When I was struggling in April/May 2013, I listened to her first
album on repeat, and it helped me far more than I can say. In addition,
though I was largely 'out' by the time I encountered her, Heather Peace
definitely helped me to be far more open about my sexuality, and it's
largely as a result of having her as a role model that I can now be so
proud of who I am! Lastly, if she hadn't been in Waterloo Road then I
wouldn't have started watching Lip Service. Fav TV show right there!
Anyway,
I was obviously really pleased to find out that she was touring and
doing a gig in Bristol, and I was beyond thrilled when I got two tickets
for my birthday! I've been super excited about the gig for a while, so
my only concern was that it might not live up to my expectations in some
way.
I really needn't have worried! From the moment Heather
came onstage I was pretty entranced. Having spent so long watching Lip
Service and Waterloo Road, alongside her music videos on YouTube etc.,
it was very weird to see her in 'real life'- but definitely good weird!
She had the crowd on her side right from the start and it was easy to
tell how popular she has become!
In terms of highlights of the
night, it's really hard to choose. However, Fairytales- the title track
from her first album- was particularly amazing; it's one of my
favourite songs, and I've listened to it countless times, so seeing it
live was obviously pretty fantastic! The Thin Line, the title track from
her second album, was also fantastic, as was Love Affair With Misery,
which had a melody that I really like for some reason. She also did
three covers- Let Me Love You (originally by Ne-Yo), Go Your Own Way
(Fleetwood Mac) and The Edge of Heaven (Wham!). Each of these was very
good- I particularly liked the way she interpreted Let Me Love You, and
the energy in The Edge of Heaven. In fact, the energy overall was fab!!
If
I had to choose a favourite song from the night, I'd be torn between
two. Firstly, We Can Change, which Heather refers to as a gay anthem,
but says applies to any minority. This was her last song, and the whole
audience (which was almost all women, many of whom were LGBT+) joined
it- it was such a fantastic experience! For different reasons, In My
Arms (from HP's second album) was another top favourite. I'm not going
to go into the reasons as to why this was a fav; it's enough that it
*was*.
After the gig, CF and I decided (um, okay, I decided,
CF went along with it) to find the stage door. We- and a large number of
others!- had to wait around an hour. However, we were eventually
rewarded by the hero of the night herself!
We
queued up and it wasn't long before we got a chance to meet her! We
both got her autograph, then had a picture together, which is now
officially my favourite picture ever ever ever full stop. After that, I
asked HP if I could have a hug, then thanked her for everything she's
done. And cried a bit. Basically I totally embarrassed myself in front
of her, but y'know. Ah well and all that. It was really incredible
getting to meet her, because I genuinely don't think I'd be in the
position I'm in now had it not been for her, both in terms of my mental
health and my sexuality.
So that was that! Easily the
best night of my life, for a million and one reasons, and definitely a
memory to hold onto!! The whole thing just went far far beyond words
really! (Resisting the temptation to let this post go into full on
fangirl...)
BEST PICTURE EVER
Wednesday, 3 September 2014
44) Buy a copy of Diva
I'm not at all sure why this was such a big thing, but for some reason I was actually kinda nervous about it. I guess because Diva is sort of a lesbian version of Cosmopolitan, and I felt a bit... self-conscious about being seen buying it? I really don't know. Anyway, I bought my copy for the coach home after London, when I was on an absolute empowerment/feminism/queer high! All is good!
Monday, 25 August 2014
Girls Who Like Girls
I've been meaning to write a post about coming out for a while. In fact, I started writing the introduction just before life got super-busy. This morning, I read an article that made me write everything I wanted to blog about in the form of a Facebook post. Two pigeons, one stone?! Anyway, this is a really important post for me. It's taken me the best part of this morning, and the article that triggered it (found here) had me both shaking with anger and in tears. This is stuff I've never written about or spoken about before, and it feels good to get it all out. We need to find a better world, you know, and the only way we can do that is by building it ourselves.
Hello Facebook. This is going to be one of those long statuses again. I know you're probably getting sick of them, and in a way I am too. But I'm not about to stop. I've got something to say, and if social media has become the medium for sharing that, then so be it. I have spent this morning shaking with anger, in tears because of something I read. This is me, shouting back.
I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Becky. I'm a girl, and I like girls. It sounds pretty simple when I put it like that. For me, it's just a fact of life. Well, it is now. It wasn't always. When I was first realising my sexuality, I didn't think those two facts could ever live in harmony. I couldn't see any positive examples of girls who liked girls- to like girls, you had to be a boy. That was what the world was telling me, through it's hetero-normativity and lack of representation of 'normal' homosexual relationships.
I thought that that's what I'd have to do- become a boy. I want to pause here and say that this is by no means anti-trans. If someone identifies as a gender that's different to their sex, then I will always totally accept that. However, I didn't identify as a boy. I didn't *want* to be a boy. I've always identified as and wanted to be a girl. Thinking that I'd have to change entirely, just to fit in with society and to like the people that I liked, forced me to question my entire identity. It was incredibly confusing and terrifying, and it resulted in me repressing everything that I felt. I forced myself to be straight, which in itself caused more confusion, but it seemed better than the alternative. Over time, I even managed to convince myself that I was straight- meaning that I had a second period of realising I was different, and coming to terms with that. During this second period of realisation, I decided that I would tell no-one- I made a second, more specific decision to repress my sexuality. I would live my life in a way that would allow me to fit in, not in a way that would allow me to be myself.
Thankfully, and obviously, in the end this was not the case. I met people and experienced things that made me slowly realise that actually, it could be okay. These instances prompted me to go looking for positive representations of homosexuality, which in the end I found. Slowly, very slowly, I made my way out of the closet (albeit firstly as bisexual, for which I completely blame Johnny Depp)- and found another problem. When I got to the point of realising that Johnny Depp was a red-herring, I came out again, this time as a gay female (with weakness for Johnny Depp). Note the terminology: a gay female. As most people called me, a lesbian, and to all intents and purposes they're synonyms. To me, and possibly to many others, they're different. You see, lesbian is a loaded word. Lesbian is still used as an insult and an unnecessary description; it's shortened to 'lez' and to 'lezzer' in a derogatory fashion. It's a word that, still, is said in lowered tones. So often, the representation of lesbians in the media is a negative one. I once read an article about a couple who murdered someone. I think the article mentioned that they were lesbian far more than the murder. What kind of impression is this giving out? To me, lesbian was a dirty word, and not one I wanted to be associated with. I've had to struggle with myself to accept that word, and to reclaim it as a description that fitted me- in it's simplest form, 'a homosexual woman'.
Why am I sharing this? Why now? What point am I trying to make? Well, this morning I woke up to read the news article linked to this post. It relates to Doctor Who, and the 'lesbian kiss' portrayed on Saturday night. This news article made me angry, and it made me sad. The episode showed two women kissing, without the labels of 'lez' or 'lezzer'. In regards to the whole Jenny/Vastra relationship, I don't think the show has ever alluded to it as a 'lesbian relationship'. It's just another relationship. By having Jenny and Vastra kiss, and by treating it in this open way, Doctor Who are doing completely the right thing- they are 'normalising' the idea of homosexuality.They are helping the next generation of children see positive homosexual relationships in a commonplace way. Yet instead of recieving praise for this, the BBC have recieved complaints, such as those written in the article. One went as far as to say that the kiss was 'not particularly welcome in a family show aimed at kids'. You're right, it wasn't 'particularly welcome'. It was *hugely* welcome. It was a step in the right direction. With more of this, we might avoid the situation we're in, where homosexuality is still seen as being abnormal, where those questioning are devoid of the support and representation they deserve and need- something that can be hugely, hugely detrimental. We need to change. We need to change *now*.
I am Becky. I'm a girl who likes girls, and that's okay. I know that now- so I need to fight for those who don't.
Hello Facebook. This is going to be one of those long statuses again. I know you're probably getting sick of them, and in a way I am too. But I'm not about to stop. I've got something to say, and if social media has become the medium for sharing that, then so be it. I have spent this morning shaking with anger, in tears because of something I read. This is me, shouting back.
I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Becky. I'm a girl, and I like girls. It sounds pretty simple when I put it like that. For me, it's just a fact of life. Well, it is now. It wasn't always. When I was first realising my sexuality, I didn't think those two facts could ever live in harmony. I couldn't see any positive examples of girls who liked girls- to like girls, you had to be a boy. That was what the world was telling me, through it's hetero-normativity and lack of representation of 'normal' homosexual relationships.
I thought that that's what I'd have to do- become a boy. I want to pause here and say that this is by no means anti-trans. If someone identifies as a gender that's different to their sex, then I will always totally accept that. However, I didn't identify as a boy. I didn't *want* to be a boy. I've always identified as and wanted to be a girl. Thinking that I'd have to change entirely, just to fit in with society and to like the people that I liked, forced me to question my entire identity. It was incredibly confusing and terrifying, and it resulted in me repressing everything that I felt. I forced myself to be straight, which in itself caused more confusion, but it seemed better than the alternative. Over time, I even managed to convince myself that I was straight- meaning that I had a second period of realising I was different, and coming to terms with that. During this second period of realisation, I decided that I would tell no-one- I made a second, more specific decision to repress my sexuality. I would live my life in a way that would allow me to fit in, not in a way that would allow me to be myself.
Thankfully, and obviously, in the end this was not the case. I met people and experienced things that made me slowly realise that actually, it could be okay. These instances prompted me to go looking for positive representations of homosexuality, which in the end I found. Slowly, very slowly, I made my way out of the closet (albeit firstly as bisexual, for which I completely blame Johnny Depp)- and found another problem. When I got to the point of realising that Johnny Depp was a red-herring, I came out again, this time as a gay female (with weakness for Johnny Depp). Note the terminology: a gay female. As most people called me, a lesbian, and to all intents and purposes they're synonyms. To me, and possibly to many others, they're different. You see, lesbian is a loaded word. Lesbian is still used as an insult and an unnecessary description; it's shortened to 'lez' and to 'lezzer' in a derogatory fashion. It's a word that, still, is said in lowered tones. So often, the representation of lesbians in the media is a negative one. I once read an article about a couple who murdered someone. I think the article mentioned that they were lesbian far more than the murder. What kind of impression is this giving out? To me, lesbian was a dirty word, and not one I wanted to be associated with. I've had to struggle with myself to accept that word, and to reclaim it as a description that fitted me- in it's simplest form, 'a homosexual woman'.
Why am I sharing this? Why now? What point am I trying to make? Well, this morning I woke up to read the news article linked to this post. It relates to Doctor Who, and the 'lesbian kiss' portrayed on Saturday night. This news article made me angry, and it made me sad. The episode showed two women kissing, without the labels of 'lez' or 'lezzer'. In regards to the whole Jenny/Vastra relationship, I don't think the show has ever alluded to it as a 'lesbian relationship'. It's just another relationship. By having Jenny and Vastra kiss, and by treating it in this open way, Doctor Who are doing completely the right thing- they are 'normalising' the idea of homosexuality.They are helping the next generation of children see positive homosexual relationships in a commonplace way. Yet instead of recieving praise for this, the BBC have recieved complaints, such as those written in the article. One went as far as to say that the kiss was 'not particularly welcome in a family show aimed at kids'. You're right, it wasn't 'particularly welcome'. It was *hugely* welcome. It was a step in the right direction. With more of this, we might avoid the situation we're in, where homosexuality is still seen as being abnormal, where those questioning are devoid of the support and representation they deserve and need- something that can be hugely, hugely detrimental. We need to change. We need to change *now*.
I am Becky. I'm a girl who likes girls, and that's okay. I know that now- so I need to fight for those who don't.
Monday, 4 August 2014
#JustHuman
This post should've been written aaaages ago... Unfortunately, I've been really busy, so I've not had a chance to write it until now! (And I'm totally not meant to be packing now or anything...)
Anyway. I blogged a while ago about the work I've been doing with Brook, and that we'd been making an LGBTQ video. Well, we finished that video a couple of weeks ago, and it's now live on the internet, which is really really exciting.
The video we created started out as one thing, and ended, of course, as something utterly different. The finished thing is based around love and companionship- because, at the end of the day, that's something that brings us all together. Almost everyone is looking for love and companionship in some way or another, and everyone has different ideas of what they want in a relationship. Our question- do these things change depending on your sexuality? Well, the video's below. Take a look and see for yourself. Personally, I think the answer's pretty clear.
Anyway. I blogged a while ago about the work I've been doing with Brook, and that we'd been making an LGBTQ video. Well, we finished that video a couple of weeks ago, and it's now live on the internet, which is really really exciting.
The video we created started out as one thing, and ended, of course, as something utterly different. The finished thing is based around love and companionship- because, at the end of the day, that's something that brings us all together. Almost everyone is looking for love and companionship in some way or another, and everyone has different ideas of what they want in a relationship. Our question- do these things change depending on your sexuality? Well, the video's below. Take a look and see for yourself. Personally, I think the answer's pretty clear.
However, that's not the end of it- we think that our video has a really
important message, and we'd like as many people to see it as possible.
It might not change the world; but it might just reach one person who
needs it, and that, as ever, would make it entirely worth it. Please, please- share this. Tell your friends. Talk about it. Spread the word, and get it out there. You never know who could see it because of you. Even better, get in on the discussion- tweet @RifeMag with the hashtag #JustHuman and let us know what YOU want in a relationship!!
If you're wondering WHY you should share- here's why. Because, at the end of the day, we are all just human. We are all living our lives, sharing happiness and struggles, breathing the same air and walking the same streets. If you were to cut us open and remove any of our organs, you would find no difference between each person. We all have the power- and the need- to love, and we are all doing that in our own way. So what if the person you love is male, is female, is neither, both, is something different? It's still love. It's still the same concept. We are just human, and we are just loving. I honestly hope with all my heart that one day we create a world that accepts that. Please. Help us out. Spread the love.
Sunday, 20 July 2014
26) Go to PRIDE!!
Soooo last week was Bristol's PRIDE event!! It was the first time I'd been, and unfortunately the swim teaching course meant that I couldn't get there till fairly late. However, I had a fabulous time all the same, and I cannot wait to have the full experience next year. It was really nice to chill with some of my close friends; I also really really appreciated being in such an LGBT-friendly environment. There were so many happy couples of all kinds, and it just completely gave me hope and faith for the future. As seen below, we had a great time with rainbows of all kinds (BB gave me the flag I'm holding as a late birthday present; I think he regretted it after my millionth emphatic wave).
Sunday, 13 July 2014
11th July: Favourite Celebration & Why
Yeah, I've been slacking on this a little... I have been so unbelieveably busy over the past few days!!
If I'd answered this on the day I was meant to, it would have been a tie between Christmas and New Year. I love Christmas because it's a time of love and hope, and I spend a lot of time with my extended family, and- I don't know, people just feel so much nicer at Christmas. I like using it as a time to reflect, as seen here in 2012 and again in 2013! I also love New Year- partly because I love fireworks, and New Year is full of those, and again because it has a sense of hope and new beginnings, and there's yet more reflection (again, 2012 and 2013). I think I get quite spiritual in a way about both of those celebrations, and I see them as being really meaningful. My attitudes towards Christmas are one of the reasons I don't think I'm quite atheist.
However, yesterday I went to Pride for the first time ever. It was absolutely amazing- it was filled with lovely people, and it was so so good to be somewhere where LGBT etc. weren't just being accepted, but were the norm and were being celebrated. So now Christmas, New Year and Pride are all up there!!
If I'd answered this on the day I was meant to, it would have been a tie between Christmas and New Year. I love Christmas because it's a time of love and hope, and I spend a lot of time with my extended family, and- I don't know, people just feel so much nicer at Christmas. I like using it as a time to reflect, as seen here in 2012 and again in 2013! I also love New Year- partly because I love fireworks, and New Year is full of those, and again because it has a sense of hope and new beginnings, and there's yet more reflection (again, 2012 and 2013). I think I get quite spiritual in a way about both of those celebrations, and I see them as being really meaningful. My attitudes towards Christmas are one of the reasons I don't think I'm quite atheist.
However, yesterday I went to Pride for the first time ever. It was absolutely amazing- it was filled with lovely people, and it was so so good to be somewhere where LGBT etc. weren't just being accepted, but were the norm and were being celebrated. So now Christmas, New Year and Pride are all up there!!
Tuesday, 1 July 2014
29) Do voluntary work that's not swimming-related
I've just realised that I kinda completed this one a while back!! My week has become pretty busy with lots of voluntary stuff, which is good and makes me really happy. On a Monday I go to a participation group at Brook (sexual health/relationships/LGBTQ stuff for young adults)- we're currently creating a LGBTQ-based video, which is very fun and very exciting. Then on a Thursday, I've just started going to Mentality, a youth project based around mental health stigma etc. (then I coach for an hour, but that's swimming-related). Finally, on Fridays I help out in a Year 8 English class in school! Hopefully also getting involved with some more specific LGBTQ stuff, which will be exciting when it happens!
Saturday, 17 May 2014
IDAHOT
For a breath-takingly amazing piece on the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, check out BB's post. I'm not going to try to compete with that. Have some creative writing based on the day instead.
We are the people. We are your children, we are your siblings. We are your classmates, your colleagues, your friends, your acquaintances. We are the people you pour your heart out to at night, we are the strangers who smile at you in the street.
We are not the fags, the trannies, the queers. We are not the poofters who deserve to be shot. We are not your stereotypes- we are not your lipstick lesbians, not your metrosexuals. We are not your charity cases. We are not your conversation pieces.
We are struggling in silence, we are screaming for change. We are fighting, battles you will never have to understand. We are living, lives as complex and intricate as any other, our beings made of the same stuff as stars. We are breathing, in and out, in and out, the air the dinosaurs exhaled. We are loving, and loving, and loving.
We are one. We are individuals. We are here, whether you like it or not, and we refuse to leave.
We are the people. We are human. We are just like you.
We are the people. We are your children, we are your siblings. We are your classmates, your colleagues, your friends, your acquaintances. We are the people you pour your heart out to at night, we are the strangers who smile at you in the street.
We are not the fags, the trannies, the queers. We are not the poofters who deserve to be shot. We are not your stereotypes- we are not your lipstick lesbians, not your metrosexuals. We are not your charity cases. We are not your conversation pieces.
We are struggling in silence, we are screaming for change. We are fighting, battles you will never have to understand. We are living, lives as complex and intricate as any other, our beings made of the same stuff as stars. We are breathing, in and out, in and out, the air the dinosaurs exhaled. We are loving, and loving, and loving.
We are one. We are individuals. We are here, whether you like it or not, and we refuse to leave.
We are the people. We are human. We are just like you.
With Thanks To BB
BB- who is fabulous and amazing and inspiring whether he accepts it or not- absolutely blew me away with this piece of writing about International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. It is beautiful, and says everything, really. BB, you da best.
Today is the international day against homophobia and transphobia. This day is more important than you might think, and I’m going to try explaining why that is.
We live in a world where many countries believe it to be a criminal offence to be gay (seventy-seven according to the charity organisation AllOut) and ten countries believe a same sex attraction to be worthy of the death penalty. Many others, such as Russia and Uganda allow often-fatal anti-gay violence to go unpunished. So maybe we're looking good in our happy little equal marriage endorsing United Kingdom. But there's more to it than that. I want you to imagine that you have grown up knowing that you are gay and that there is nothing you can do to change it, then I want you to imagine walking down a corridor of a secondary school and hearing nothing but homophobic abuse as a rite of passage. "Oh, it's only a joke," they may say, but how does it make you feel? If you came out, do you think they'd support you? Has it occurred to you that people carry their true nature as a secret to the grave because of these jokes?
Young transgender teenagers have nobody to understand them it seems. Even teachers will tell students to "man up" when they are still discovering for themselves what being a man really means, if anything at all.
For a young gay child, all they know is that they are different and that they don't want the "ideal" that television is forever feeding them. The first they hear of other people experiencing the same feelings as them, is through the tormenting tongue of the playground bully. It's a sick reality that I struggle to believe has not been confined to the history books.
It is these trademarks of society that mean that lesbian, gay and bisexual youths are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. 30-40% of the LGBTQ community have attempted suicide at some point in their lives. Apparently among young gay people, suicide claims the lives of more than 1,000 every year in the USA alone. Self-harm amongst gay teenagers is prevalent in 56% of the community. When more than half of a community is deliberately injuring themselves, then surely it is more than necessary to consider how we are treating that community. It is also critical that we remember that these figures only account for members of the community who are out of the closet. Those who are not open about their sexuality face a whole host of further complications that can lead to mental health difficulty. This needs to stop. Lives will be saved.
Perhaps I have a bias, as a Christian, you might expect me to have strong opinions on human rights (and inhumane wrongs). Well, I do, and does it
matter if I credit these beliefs to my Christian faith? Even if you don't believe it to be the word of God, the Bible has a lot to say about human rights that we should be applying to the gay rights movement as well. Proverbs 31 verse eight says "speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves." I think that is a lesson for all of us, that on behalf of those who are too afraid to challenge the world, we must do so ourselves, wherever we see homophobia, or any kind of discrimination against the vulnerable. So feel free to like this or share this as you see fit, but most importantly, speak. Speak now and speak loud before you no longer have a voice with which to speak. It is our only hope.
Today is the international day against homophobia and transphobia. This day is more important than you might think, and I’m going to try explaining why that is.
We live in a world where many countries believe it to be a criminal offence to be gay (seventy-seven according to the charity organisation AllOut) and ten countries believe a same sex attraction to be worthy of the death penalty. Many others, such as Russia and Uganda allow often-fatal anti-gay violence to go unpunished. So maybe we're looking good in our happy little equal marriage endorsing United Kingdom. But there's more to it than that. I want you to imagine that you have grown up knowing that you are gay and that there is nothing you can do to change it, then I want you to imagine walking down a corridor of a secondary school and hearing nothing but homophobic abuse as a rite of passage. "Oh, it's only a joke," they may say, but how does it make you feel? If you came out, do you think they'd support you? Has it occurred to you that people carry their true nature as a secret to the grave because of these jokes?
Young transgender teenagers have nobody to understand them it seems. Even teachers will tell students to "man up" when they are still discovering for themselves what being a man really means, if anything at all.
For a young gay child, all they know is that they are different and that they don't want the "ideal" that television is forever feeding them. The first they hear of other people experiencing the same feelings as them, is through the tormenting tongue of the playground bully. It's a sick reality that I struggle to believe has not been confined to the history books.
It is these trademarks of society that mean that lesbian, gay and bisexual youths are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. 30-40% of the LGBTQ community have attempted suicide at some point in their lives. Apparently among young gay people, suicide claims the lives of more than 1,000 every year in the USA alone. Self-harm amongst gay teenagers is prevalent in 56% of the community. When more than half of a community is deliberately injuring themselves, then surely it is more than necessary to consider how we are treating that community. It is also critical that we remember that these figures only account for members of the community who are out of the closet. Those who are not open about their sexuality face a whole host of further complications that can lead to mental health difficulty. This needs to stop. Lives will be saved.
Perhaps I have a bias, as a Christian, you might expect me to have strong opinions on human rights (and inhumane wrongs). Well, I do, and does it
matter if I credit these beliefs to my Christian faith? Even if you don't believe it to be the word of God, the Bible has a lot to say about human rights that we should be applying to the gay rights movement as well. Proverbs 31 verse eight says "speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves." I think that is a lesson for all of us, that on behalf of those who are too afraid to challenge the world, we must do so ourselves, wherever we see homophobia, or any kind of discrimination against the vulnerable. So feel free to like this or share this as you see fit, but most importantly, speak. Speak now and speak loud before you no longer have a voice with which to speak. It is our only hope.
Wednesday, 26 February 2014
Uganda.
So this week Uganda's passed an awful awful anti-LGBT bill, and, as usual, much of the world appears oblivious. Don't stay ignorant. Click here to find out more bout the bill, and sign the petition against it. I would explain more, but I'd just get worked up, and, to be honest, words can't express how angry and upset this
bill has made me. Everyone deserves a chance to love, and to be
themselves. Think of all the time you've spent with your partner, or
talking about who you fancy with your friends, or flirting, or
whatever. For LGBT people in Uganda, that could result in life
imprisonment. Please, please- if you've got time to be browsinghis blog, you've got the time to sign this petition. Think love.
Sunday, 16 February 2014
Life, Lately
What've I been up to recently? That's a good question...
Beginning with Monday, I took a test that said I was the most stressed person in the whole of AS Psychology, performed in aid of Russia and hung out with a celebrity (BB, who won a poetry competition and has been congratulated by pretty much everyone- well done, once again!).
On Tuesday we consumed cake and did a quiz; I spent all day in Music trying (and failing) to compose.
In assembly on Wednesday I was persuaded to read out a thing in assembly (influenced by nothing, and definitely not by the uber-lovely speaker), then got very stressed out over everything and resorted to crying over a keyboard, before discovering the healing power of lists and (yet again) the distraction of hair dye. Thursday contained yet more Music, plus the best way to start a half term- BB and I played a game of 'how many Year 11s can we get into the sixth form block?' ('cause everyone was in non-uniform- the answer was 11, and that was due to time constraints). On Thursday evening we went shopping to celebrate my little cousin's birthday, and I got the coolest onesie ever.
I've already blogged a little about Friday, when the A level music girls went into school to compose and ended up dancing madly to Disney music, and I then put a plan in for my half term week. On Friday afternoon I enjoyed the weather by walking the dog up a big hill and enjoying being surrounded by nature/the elements- lots of adrenaline and super amazing! (Though I've since been told that it was a really stupid idea).
Yesterday was much more productive, and I managed to get some English coursework done before tucking into a takeaway. Finally, today I've done quite a bit of work, watched an episode of Sherlock (completing all of them is my holiday challenge!) and am about to do my piano practice then go teach swimming. Phew! That's a pretty busy week!
Beginning with Monday, I took a test that said I was the most stressed person in the whole of AS Psychology, performed in aid of Russia and hung out with a celebrity (BB, who won a poetry competition and has been congratulated by pretty much everyone- well done, once again!).
The Esteemed Poet
CAKE!
I'M A RACCOON OMG
Mud, Glorious Mud
Dog On A Lead
Hill!
Wednesday, 12 February 2014
45) Spread the word about equal rights in the Winter Olympics!
How did I complete this one? Well, I've been wearing my top as much as possible (seen here, in my awesome pic!). At present, that picture is also my profile picture on all my social networking sites. I also wrote this piece, which I felt summed up my views pretty neatly. Then, on Monday, BB, another friend and I did a performance specifically for Russia (with love)- we chose to do three LGBT-related songs, of course- our set was:
We also included a bit of a speech (totally not written at 10pm the night before), which I then rewrote to use on Facebook/Twitter etc.- here's the rewritten version!
The Winter Olympics started on Friday, in Russia. Recently, Russia passed a law that makes life very difficult for LGBT people; essentially, they cannot be themselves, or love who they choose, simply because there are people in the government who are scared of anything different to what they know of life.
This makes things very difficult for any LGBT athletes currently competing in Russia. The Olympics are about people competing and celebrating sport in it's diversity. They are not about the persecution of minorities based on who they happen to love- which is part of the reason people are so angry at the Russian government.
There's also a far bigger picture. This is a reminder of the awful problems facing LGBT people all around the world; a reminder that there are people being silenced, tortured, killed for daring to be open about who they are.
This is a colossal situation of love being met with hate, and it's one that everyone needs to fight- because if we're not fighting for love, what else is there? At some point, everyone finds something worth fighting for, and you can almost guarantee it'll be linked to love, one way or another.
One day, there'll be a place for everyone to live freely, to love freely, to walk hand in hand and shout to the world how lucky they are. Until then? We keep going, keep fighting, and we stand strong together.
(So yeah, I think I've done this one).
Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You (Kate Nash cover)
I really like this song 'cause it's fun and dancey and it has the line 'you are the girl that I've been dreaming of ever since I was a little girl', which is adorable.
If She's The One, by Ellis Paul
This is a really beautiful song, and one of my most played songs on iTunes! It's just so gorgeous :3
Pride (Amy Macdonald)
This is one of my absolute favourite ever songs, and it's always a joy to perform!! I also really like it because I can relate it to stuff (gonna be mysterious and leave it at that!) which is yay :)
We also included a bit of a speech (totally not written at 10pm the night before), which I then rewrote to use on Facebook/Twitter etc.- here's the rewritten version!
The Winter Olympics started on Friday, in Russia. Recently, Russia passed a law that makes life very difficult for LGBT people; essentially, they cannot be themselves, or love who they choose, simply because there are people in the government who are scared of anything different to what they know of life.
This makes things very difficult for any LGBT athletes currently competing in Russia. The Olympics are about people competing and celebrating sport in it's diversity. They are not about the persecution of minorities based on who they happen to love- which is part of the reason people are so angry at the Russian government.
There's also a far bigger picture. This is a reminder of the awful problems facing LGBT people all around the world; a reminder that there are people being silenced, tortured, killed for daring to be open about who they are.
This is a colossal situation of love being met with hate, and it's one that everyone needs to fight- because if we're not fighting for love, what else is there? At some point, everyone finds something worth fighting for, and you can almost guarantee it'll be linked to love, one way or another.
One day, there'll be a place for everyone to live freely, to love freely, to walk hand in hand and shout to the world how lucky they are. Until then? We keep going, keep fighting, and we stand strong together.
(So yeah, I think I've done this one).
Friday, 7 February 2014
I Believe In Love (And My Views On Boycotts)
Today marks the beginning of the 2014 Winter Olympics, held in Sochi, in Russia. Anyone who has been following the news recently will know what the problems with this are. For those who aren't aware, it can be explained very simply- in Russia, the government are, at the moment, refusing to treat people equally. They have imposed all sorts of laws on people who identify with LGBT, with Putin (the current prime minister) going as far as to constantly link homosexuality and paedophilia. The government is doing it's absolute best to ban any sort of 'homosexual propaganda', particularly any aimed at children. There are several questions that come from this. I hope I can answer them.
Why is this so bad?
Well, there are a lot of answers to this. I guess the main one is that they are stopping people from being who they are. It's a huge, huge violation of human rights. It's telling people that they are wrong for feeling what they cannot change. It's also making things worse for a group of people who, traditionally, have faced problems. Banning 'homosexual propaganda' among children means that the next generation are going to carry on the trend of believing that homosexuality is wrong- after all, that's what they'll have been taught. That means there may never be an end to this. It also means that LGBT youths are in hugely risky situations: they're being told that everything they feel is wrong. Growing up and discovering who you are can be hell enough as it is; being told that who you are is banned is making things infinitely worse.
Why are they doing this?
Because they're scared of anything different to what they're familiar with. And for those who say that this is a rational response- not that long ago, it was okay to persecute people with dark skin. That was because people were scared of anything different to what they knew, and we know now that that was not okay. This is the same.
Why are they wrong?
Oooh, how long have you got?! They're wrong because, as I said above, being different is absolutely okay. It is nothing to persecute, it is nothing to be scared of. Can you imagine a world where everyone is the same? It would be sooo boring. At the end of the day, love is love- if you love a guy, good for you. You love a woman? Also good for you. You love both, or neither, or you choose not to label yourself, or you've defined it in your own way? That also is good for you. It doesn't matter: it's the love that counts.
What are the implications on the Olympic Games?
There are two stem answers to this. The first is more obvious: that the LGBT athletes in Sochi are at risk. Putin has, supposedly, guaranteed their safety as long as they stay within the confines of the Olympic village. This means they cannot leave the village and associated areas- they're prisoners. Also, Putin is not known for keeping his word. For all we know, these athletes are risking their entire safety, just to compete.
The second answer to this is slightly more complex. Essentially, by going along with the Games and not saying anything, it's like saying 'yes, we know what you're doing, but we're going to ignore it'. By not saying anything, we are ignoring the plight of everyone struggling under the homophobic regime. By not saying anything, we're telling Putin he can go ahead. By not saying anything, we're being as bad as him.
There have been a lot of links drawn between these Winter Olympics and the 1936 Berlin Olympics- when Hitler showed off 'his Germany'. The parallels have to stop here, and they're only going to do that if we speak out.
Why is boycotting not the answer?
Imagine spending your whole life training for a huge event that only comes every four years- and then, when that event comes, for you to either not take part, or not get the recognition you deserve. That is not fair, and we cannot do that to the amazing athletes purely due to the evilness of one government. It's not their fault, and they cannot be punished for that. In addition, boycotting it would look rude, and would give Putin reason to complain. There are far better ways of showing him that we disagree, such as getting every country representative to wear a rainbow badge. It sounds small and subtle, and that's partly the point- it's nothing anyone can really complain about, but it shows that we will not allow this to go unnoticed.
Why do I care?
Before I answer this, why do you not care? Love is the one thing that binds us all together. If we're not fighting for our right to love, what do we have left? And for me, personally? Well, because I am gay. I know what it is like to realise you're different, and to face up to that. I have really really struggled with accepting myself- but now I am there, and I know what I'm fighting for, and that makes me lucky. I may have had some difficult times due to my sexuality, and there may be more to come- but I have never had to face my whole country telling me that my very being is wrong and flawed. I cannot explain my relief in knowing how lucky I am, or how much I feel for all those who are in that situation. I just want to rescue them, and take them somewhere they can be accepted.
Why do I care? Because I believe in love.
Why is this so bad?
Well, there are a lot of answers to this. I guess the main one is that they are stopping people from being who they are. It's a huge, huge violation of human rights. It's telling people that they are wrong for feeling what they cannot change. It's also making things worse for a group of people who, traditionally, have faced problems. Banning 'homosexual propaganda' among children means that the next generation are going to carry on the trend of believing that homosexuality is wrong- after all, that's what they'll have been taught. That means there may never be an end to this. It also means that LGBT youths are in hugely risky situations: they're being told that everything they feel is wrong. Growing up and discovering who you are can be hell enough as it is; being told that who you are is banned is making things infinitely worse.
Why are they doing this?
Because they're scared of anything different to what they're familiar with. And for those who say that this is a rational response- not that long ago, it was okay to persecute people with dark skin. That was because people were scared of anything different to what they knew, and we know now that that was not okay. This is the same.
Why are they wrong?
Oooh, how long have you got?! They're wrong because, as I said above, being different is absolutely okay. It is nothing to persecute, it is nothing to be scared of. Can you imagine a world where everyone is the same? It would be sooo boring. At the end of the day, love is love- if you love a guy, good for you. You love a woman? Also good for you. You love both, or neither, or you choose not to label yourself, or you've defined it in your own way? That also is good for you. It doesn't matter: it's the love that counts.
What are the implications on the Olympic Games?
There are two stem answers to this. The first is more obvious: that the LGBT athletes in Sochi are at risk. Putin has, supposedly, guaranteed their safety as long as they stay within the confines of the Olympic village. This means they cannot leave the village and associated areas- they're prisoners. Also, Putin is not known for keeping his word. For all we know, these athletes are risking their entire safety, just to compete.
The second answer to this is slightly more complex. Essentially, by going along with the Games and not saying anything, it's like saying 'yes, we know what you're doing, but we're going to ignore it'. By not saying anything, we are ignoring the plight of everyone struggling under the homophobic regime. By not saying anything, we're telling Putin he can go ahead. By not saying anything, we're being as bad as him.
There have been a lot of links drawn between these Winter Olympics and the 1936 Berlin Olympics- when Hitler showed off 'his Germany'. The parallels have to stop here, and they're only going to do that if we speak out.
Why is boycotting not the answer?
Imagine spending your whole life training for a huge event that only comes every four years- and then, when that event comes, for you to either not take part, or not get the recognition you deserve. That is not fair, and we cannot do that to the amazing athletes purely due to the evilness of one government. It's not their fault, and they cannot be punished for that. In addition, boycotting it would look rude, and would give Putin reason to complain. There are far better ways of showing him that we disagree, such as getting every country representative to wear a rainbow badge. It sounds small and subtle, and that's partly the point- it's nothing anyone can really complain about, but it shows that we will not allow this to go unnoticed.
Why do I care?
Before I answer this, why do you not care? Love is the one thing that binds us all together. If we're not fighting for our right to love, what do we have left? And for me, personally? Well, because I am gay. I know what it is like to realise you're different, and to face up to that. I have really really struggled with accepting myself- but now I am there, and I know what I'm fighting for, and that makes me lucky. I may have had some difficult times due to my sexuality, and there may be more to come- but I have never had to face my whole country telling me that my very being is wrong and flawed. I cannot explain my relief in knowing how lucky I am, or how much I feel for all those who are in that situation. I just want to rescue them, and take them somewhere they can be accepted.
Why do I care? Because I believe in love.
Saturday, 1 February 2014
LGBT History Month: Rainbow Map!
To kickstart the month, take a look at the first link on this page- it's a PDF with a world map, colour coded to show the human rights situations of LGBT individuals all over the world. In this 2013 version, UK stands at the top, with a 77% 'respect rate'; at the other end of the scale is Russia, with 7%. I really cannot wait for the day that all these countries are green with a 100% tattooed over all of them!
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