Disneyyy!

A couple of weeks ago, my friend JG turned 18, and had a Disney-themed party...

Getting Ready

Little Mermaid!

Bambi and Eeyore!

Merida, Bambi, Esmerelda, Eeyore, Maleficent

Bambi, Eeyore, Esmerelda, Ariel, Maleficent, Winnie-the-Pooh

LOOK WHO CAME BACK <3

MORE LOOK WHO CAME BACK <3

We Lost GS

Maleficent & Eeyore

Esmerelda & Merida

All the Disney!

Thank you so much to JG for a brilliant night!!

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Farewell to Summer

Tomorrow I start Year 13. Therefore, today is the last day of the summer. Not just any summer. The biggest and best summer I have ever had. The sort of time period that becomes a landmark- it feels so weird to be going back to sixth form tomorrow, because I have grown and changed so much in the past few weeks.
For me, the summer always begins with my birthday, this year celebrated in three parts- with my family on the day, with my friends for a picnic, and with the WombBuds. Soon after this, there was YCF2014, which was a really fantastic weekend. At the beginning of July I started my Level Two swim teaching course, which was nerve-wracking but which actually went really well! I also went up to London to watch the amazing drama group perform (and to take pictures of beautiful beautiful London). I also went to see CAITLIN MORAN, and blogged about this for PBG. Though I was incredibly busy with the swim teaching, I got to go to PRIDE for a bit, which was really fab- so going again next year!! The following week was my work experience, which was very positive (and also involved lots of vegetables and the Playground Cafe). The video I helped make with Rife Magazine premiered, and I felt pretty accomplished (finished the swim course and got my piano results back), PCH turned 18 and I went to the Harbour Festival on my lemon!
The week after I got to see some of the swimming friends, including someone I only see once a year or so, and I saw the WombBuds. At the weekend I went to a party at the place I did my work experience, and also failed at baking, much to CF's disgust. The next week, I went away on a residential with NCS (albeit after missing a day due to being ill). I missed the second week of the residential, but did manage to go for a day, which was fab. The rest of the week was amazingly magical as I frolicked with the elves in Efteling!!
When I returned from Efteling my friend and I dyed our hair and went to the Balloon Fiesta. There was more NCS the next week as we volunteered with Wild Goose and planned our project; I blogged about everything we did here. The same week, I got my A level results and (some of) Cat Family had a sleepover.
The next week there was a lot more NCS; I also went on the radio, which was a huge personal goal.
Finally, I had possibly the biggest week of my life- we did the sponsored sleep-out, I went on an exciting trip to London (for tourism and Parliament and general feminist chilling) and, finally, Team Lucky Cat had a sleepover and did Color Me Rad!!
Wow!! I'm exhausted just thinking about it to be honest. It's been such an amazing summer. I've met and got to know some truly fantastic people; I've also spent more time with people I knew anyway who fit into the category of truly fantastic. Thank you to all of them.
It's also been a big summer in terms of development and growth. I've had some experiences that have really made me think, some to the point of changing me and helping me grow as a person. I'm looking at the world a little differently now, and I think that's for the better. I've made decisions that not everyone will agree with, I've done things that I- don't regret, exactly, but wish I'd done differently. I've really really learnt a great deal, and I am taking so much away from this.
It's just been- well, beyond words. And I know I harp on about mental health a lot, but- this time last year I was really ill, and I couldn't see things getting any better. I've come so so far, to the point of being able to say that I'm the happiest I've ever been. That is so so huge, I really can't emphasise how much that means to me.
Summer 2014, you have been freaking amazing. You have been such a landmark in my life. Thank you for being rad, and thank you so much to everyone I've shared it with. All the love. So much love.
Year 13? Get ready. Here I come.

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Instructions For A Bad Day- Shane Koyczan

I've just had one of those moments where you find exactly the thing you need to find... Read this, and I hope that if you need it, it'll help- if you don't, maybe it'll still give you something to think about. This poet is phenomenal.

There will be bad days. Be calm. Loosen your grip, opening each palm slowly now. Let go. Be confident. Know that now is only a moment, and that if today is as bad as it gets, understand that by tomorrow, today will have ended. Be gracious. Accept each extended hand offered, to pull you back from the somewhere you cannot escape. Be diligent. Scrape the gray sky clean. Realize every dark cloud is a smoke screen meant to blind us from the truth, and the truth is whether we see them or not - the sun and moon are still there and always there is light. Be forthright. Despite your instinct to say "it's alright, I'm okay" - be honest. Say how you feel without fear or guilt, without remorse or complexity. Be lucid in your explanation, be sterling in your oppose. If you think for one second no one knows what you've been going through; be accepting of the fact that you are wrong, that the long drawn and heavy breaths of despair have at times been felt by everyone - that pain is part of the human condition and that alone makes you a legion. We hungry underdogs, we risers with dawn, we dissmisser's of odds, we blesser's of on – we will station ourselves to the calm. We will hold ourselves to the steady, be ready player one. Life is going to come at you armed with hard times and tough choices, your voice is your weapon, your thoughts ammunition – there are no free extra men, be aware that as the instant now passes, it exists now as then. So be a mirror reflecting yourself back, and remembering the times when you thought all of this was too hard and you'd never make it through. Remember the times you could have pressed quit – but you hit continue. Be forgiving. Living with the burden of anger, is not living. Giving your focus to wrath will leave your entire self absent of what you need. Love and hate are beasts and the one that grows is the one you feed. Be persistent. Be the weed growing through the cracks in the cement, beautiful - because it doesn't know it's not supposed to grow there. Be resolute. Declare what you accept as true in a way that envisions the resolve with which you accept it. If you are having a good day, be considerate. A simple smile could be the first-aid kit that someone has been looking for. If you believe with absolute honesty that you are doing everything you can - do more. There will be bad days, Times when the world weighs on you for so long it leaves you looking for an easy way out. There will be moments when the drought of joy seems unending. Instances spent pretending that everything is alright when it clearly is not, check your blind spot. See that love is still there, be patient. Every nightmare has a beginning, but every bad day has an end. Ignore what others have called you. I am calling you friend. Make us comprehend the urgency of your crisis. Silence left to its own devices, breed's silence. So speak and be heard. One word after the next, express yourself and put your life in the context – if you find that no one is listening, be loud. Make noise. Stand in poise and be open. Hope in these situations is not enough and you will need someone to lean on. In the unlikely event that you have no one, look again. Everyone is blessed with the ability to listen. The deaf will hear you with their eyes. The blind will see you with their hands. Let your heart fill their news-stands, Let them read all about it. Admit to the bad days, the impossible nights. Listen to the insights of those who have been there, but come back. They will tell you; you can stack misery, you can pack disappear you can even wear your sorrow – but come tomorrow you must change your clothes. Everyone knows pain. We are not meant to carry it forever. We were never meant to hold it so closely, so be certain in the belief that what pain belongs to now will belong soon to then. That when someone asks you how was your day, realize that for some of us – it's the only way we know how to say, be calm. Loosen your grip, opening each palm, slowly now – let go.

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Some Days Defeat The Impossible

Yesterday wasn't a day I was looking forward to. I was dreading my results- I'm a perfectionist, and it's very unusual that I can be happy with things I've done- and I was feeling extremely low anyway.
However, I was proven wrong several times. I was thrilled with my results, and felt touched by the support shown to me about them. Later on, I was able to take a step back from things and realise that I really do want things to get better- but if I want that, I have to prove the world wrong, and show it what I'm made of. I'm determined to recover, hard as that seems at times.
I also used a website called Player 2, which was exactly what I needed, and I would definitely recommend it- it's a 'game' that enables you to look at a situation involving another person from a better point of view. For me it meant I realised that unless I want something happened recently to drag me down and define me, then I need to do what feels impossible, because otherwise I'm going to judge everything by this one event. I need to let people help me- before I've always said 'Oh, I can't, I can't trust people, it's not my fault, just something I can't do'- and sure, maybe it isn't my fault that I find it difficult, but it's not out of my control. I can trust people, because it's my choice to do that. Part of my mind might be telling me not to, but I can be strong and tell that part of my mind that I need to do this.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Go and check the website out. Even if you don't need it right now, you never know when you might.
I then went against what 'that part' of my mind was telling me (I might name the negative and positive parts of my mind, just to help me in recovery...) and went into town with my mum and sister. 'That part' was determined to not enjoy it, but I managed to overrule that and had a good time.I also got two books, which will be good for distractions. Win.
Finally, my day finished with a swimming training session. Yes, people who have followed my blog for a while, you read that right- people who are new, you can catch up here. I have a splint, and finally got a chance to see if it helped my ankle in any way. And guess what?! It kind of worked. I had a small amount of pain, but I found that by tightening the splint I was able to reduce that. The main issues now are just that the splint I have isn't overly practical for swimming- it fastens with velcro, which works, but occasionally comes apart, so I could do with finding one that has a more water-friendly fastening. It also has to be pulled very tight to reduce the pain, which is uncomfortable, but I should get used to that, and it could be improved with a different splint. Having the constriction also means that, in a way, I'm also going to have to relearn how to kick in a way that works best. That could be interesting. I'm looking at it as a challenge. Finally, there's the inevitable- after not training properly for over a year, and not at all for several months, it's going to take a while to build up stamina and be able to follow a set. Thankfully my coaches are amazing, and have said that for now I can just turn up and they'll squeeze me in somewhere to swim my own session, to slowly build up stamina until I can begin to ease back into proper sessions.
This is going to sound really cheesy, but as I was swimming- without pain for the first time in around 2 years- I had Melody's part from 'For A Moment' (Little Mermaid II) going around my head. Because why not.
So yeah. Some days surprise you, and make you realise that things are going to be okay.

This is more than my thoughts ever thought it could be, for a moment, just a moment, lucky me

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Onion!

***This is a scheduled post***

A picture I found on the internet- a very very proud man and his onion. He looks so happy! :3

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Here It Comes (We Hope)

Before I go and get changed out of my uniform for the last time ever (!!!), here's a little something that never fails to make me grin.

BTEC Music covered this once! ;)

Here Comes The Sun- The Beatles

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Wisdom From Picasso

Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children. 

Pablo Picasso

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Cheesy But Fantastic

My mum's found a CD entitled 'Happy Songs', and has been playing it. They were cheesy, and- in case you hadn't guessed- very happy, which is just what I needed. Thought I'd share a couple ;)

I'll Be There For You- The Rembrandts

Don't Stop- Fleetwood Mac

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Hope

Some quotes/lyrics for you to enjoy today, and hopefully make you feel a bit more hopeful (is that a pun?)- none of these are mine (except the last)!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step- Lao Tzu

I can't find the words to make it sound unique, but honestly, you make me strong!- Kate Nash

Live like you mean it, love 'til you feel it, it's all that we need in our lives- Goo Goo Dolls

Today you are you, that is truer than true. There's no-one alive who is youer than you!- Dr Seuss

It's not just the people we love, but the people we let love us back who show us how high we can really soar- Steve Kluger

When two worlds collide, I'm happy that I'm by your side- Amy Macdonald

We are all failures; at least, the best of us are- J.M.Barrie

You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet!- John Green

Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you- Coldplay

You can look inside of me, but that answers that you seek, and everything you need is all inside you- Goo Goo Dolls

You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are- John Green

Never, ever stop believing in magic, no matter how old you get. Because if you keep looking long enough and don't give up, sooner or later you're going to find Mary Poppins- Steve Kluger

Love is the strongest power there is- J.K.Rowling

When the night has come, and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we'll see. No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid, just as long as you stand, stand by me- Ben E. King

We've got everything we need right here and everything we need is enough- Jack Johnson

When I look to the sky, something tells me you're here with me, and you make everything alright- Train

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy- Anne Frank

A life isn't measured in hours and minutes. It's the quality, not the length- Gabrielle Zevin

Time won't ever steal my soul, and we're not broken so please come home- Goo Goo Dolls

Promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think- A.A.Milne

What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful- Goo Goo Dolls

Brush back your hair and look around you, feeling like the truth has found you here. You're here with me. Let love become the mirror, with no fear from where you're from. You have become beautiful- Goo Goo Dolls

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind- Dr Seuss

So much depends upon this observer of the universe- John Green

Calling out for you again, you always guide my way, calling out for you, you know you heal these empty days, and it's all because you take me as I am- Goo Goo Dolls

At the end of the day, it's okay to be sad. It's okay to feel like you're losing, like the world is against you, like everything is wrong, like nobody is there. There's nothing wrong with feeling that, or admitting that you're feeling like that. However, I promise you that there is always someone there and that there's always always a way of getting through it, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. Just keep going, because there are a million billion good things in the world, and they far outweigh the bad. Please believe me, that everything can and will get better- Yours Truly

Aaaand for a final bit of 'hope', I couldn't leave it without a message from this lovely person, because she's amazing... Except I couldn't choose which, so here are three.

Troubled Soul- Amy Macdonald

Your Time Will Come- Amy Macdonald

Run- Amy Macdonald

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My Tip? Pamper Yourself

Having spent three hours in my pyjamas revising various subjects and getting more and more stressed/upset over nothing in particular, I decided it was time to do something else- so had a shower and did a mini 'pamper session', which, really, only involved using nice body butter/perfume, putting on a skirt and applying a little make-up. Doesn't seem like much, but I'm now feeling a lot happier and refreshed. Sometimes, taking a little more care of yourself makes all the difference. The pic's because I feel nice, and it's simply human nature to be a little vain sometimes.

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The Amazingness Of Amy

OHMYGOD the concert was soo soo good!!!
The warm-up was an American singer called Christina Train; she was fairly good, though she sang 'with her hands', which annoyed me.
Amy started her set at 9:00 with 4th of July (latest single from her new album). The moment she came onstage was truly amazing; it made all the waiting worth it a million times over.
She did a really good blend of songs, including two of my all-time favourites in the history of music ever! ;)
The rest of the band were really good; the bassist was a bit showy but mainly just funny. All the performers got on so obviously well, it reflected and made the whole thing even better.
Everyone was also encouraged to get up and dance, clap, sing etc.- so, yes, I did! Most people I know have no clue who Amy is, it was great to be in a whole theatre full of people who really really did!!
We were lucky to be in the third row from the front, meaning we got some okay-ish pictures; plus, near the end, it was a free-for-all to go to the front and dance/take pictures. Which was great :D I can officially say I've stood mere meters from Amy Macdonald. That pretty much makes my whole year!
I've realised that this post sounds strangely minamalistic for me- normally I'm very over-enthusiastic and 'gushy'. It was just so wow, it's kind of hard to put it into words.
Amy Macdonald and her music have kept me going so much over the last year; really can't describe how much it's helped me, or just how momentous last night was, especially as it seemed- several times- as if I wasn't going to get there. Whether or not I managed to stay dry-eyed for the whole evening is something I'll leave you to guess!!
So, thank you thank you thank you a million times over to Amy Macdonald, just for being so amazing and such a huge inspiration.
(Thanks also to my mum for taking me and putting up with the countdown etc.!)

Can't believe it all happened!

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Ich Liebe Dich

Quote I found today:
'Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German, because life is also terrifying.'

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