Quoth The People

Some quotes that actually happened before Christmas... It was a busy time!!

CC: (to me) You're playing it too straight

BB: God wouldn't have been flummoxed by abortion clinics!

As I've mentioned on before, myself and my friends at school have adopted some sofas as our area (we are 'The Sofa Gang' or 'Jazz Hands Corner'!). These sofas are the sort with detachable cushions, and 11 official seats in all. As our group is often around 11 (though there's a load of variation!) we've invented a new game where, as soon as the 11th person sits down, anyone playing yells 'FULL HOUSE!'. There's no point to it. It's great.

AS Music has discovered musical innuendo- in a flash mob rehearsal, BB sang soprano, and was very surprised when he hit the D- or, as he put it, 'got the D'. You wouldn't believe how many lessons the D now pops up in.

For our flash mob, we included the song 'The Holly And The Ivy'. However, we discovered- whilst singing- that two of the lines feel like they should rhyme and don't (the one ending in deer and the next ending in choir). Not happy with this, GS tried to rhyme them by changing the end of choir. Hilarity ensued.

Me: Have a Merry Christmas!
Girl I Teach: Only if you do

Sister: If I put a hump on a horse, would it be a camel?
Me: No...
Sister: What about if I changed the fur?

Little Cousin: Come to my house and bring presents!

My older cousin (aged 22) was very annoyed with my aunt, firstly for killing a wild rat, and then for banning her daughter (another cousin, aged 2) from playing with the pet rats. As 'revenge', my older cousin gave the 2 year old a fake rat, and told her to give it to her mum. There was a very loud scream.

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Wisdom And Apologies

I am sorry, blog, I have neglected you a lot recently. Two weeks and two days, then I'm finished with exams, and we shall have the whole summer together (except from the time I'm away...), as well as a blog-birthday to celebrate!
For now, wisdom from my sister: 'life isn't fair because girls can't grow moustaches and beards'. Is it bad that I had this realisation only last year?!

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Flashback Friday

I liked last week's thing of looking at a year ago today, so I might make it into a regular thing. Or just a thing. We'll see ^.^
This time last year, I was arguing with someone (no idea who!). I also had a day of being extremely extremely hyper. The weekend had beautiful weather- though I was preparing for a busy busy week, so my only way of enjoying it was to sit outside with the laptop, doing revision/essays. Finally, I was in a swimming gala and my team won! :D

Notable quotes-

Friend from swimming: When I was younger I used to imagine salt and vinegar crisps were trying to eat me to make me go faster

(W is one of my close friends, Mr M and Mr W are our two tutors. Mr M didn't know about the earlier conversation, or any context at all)
*Casually hanging round outside the German class with W 'cause my class hasn't gone in*
W: Go away, outside the German class is private property!
Me: No, it's public for everyone at school here! -_-
W: Mr W, tell D to piss off! She's only waiting here cause-
Mr W: D, please do that thing that I'm not allowed to say
*Later on, in mentoring/homework help :/*
Me: Mr M, aren't the corridors public property for everyone who's at school here!?!?!
Mr M: Well, they probably don't belong to some old man in Germany
Me: *complete hysterics*

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Recent Quotes

 Recent quotes, slightly paraphrased in some cases! (I am D, IG and BB are the other two musketeers, H is a friend, SS is my Chemistry teacher, B is my Biology teacher and Makaton inspirer GG is a Scottish music teacher who loves cats and CC is a non-Scottish music teacher who claims to be scared of cows).


Boy In RE: So did Sir have genitals if we're all made in His image... Wait, I meant God...

Sister: I need to wipe paint off some of my hands
Me: You say that like you have more than one hand!
Mum: She does. She has two.

Over the past two weeks, there have been a collection of 'seat wars' in Physics, prompting a mini-tantrum from my friend L, a lesson spent with me 'sulking' and our teacher declaring that he didn't get a degree to teach primary school, and that he doesn't care about TOWIE, chairs or biology.

(talking about going to prom)
GG: We had no interesting ways of getting there
Me: So how did you get to prom?
GG: (very very affronted) We had a ceilidh!!

BB: Is it possible to have a romantic ceilidh?!

Me: You missed *anon* in cycling clothes
IG: Where?!?

H: A bouquet of skunks...

Me: I've spent five minutes realising that oranges come pre-sliced by nature
BB: The big question is, how do Terry's get the pips out!?
Me: Magic ferrets. Not smelly ones.

U: I'll electronically mail everyone
Me: Oh my God. Electronically mail. E mail. Electronically mail. Wow!!

Me: So we could get *them* together and do a video
IG: I like this idea...
BB: Genius!
Me: And of course, no ulterior motives

B: I'm not going to be at the Leavers Assembly or prom. (a little later) D, stop ignoring me!

BB: There's a 75% chance you'll have met the person you're going to marry by the time you're 16. You have a few months to find Heather Peace.

SS: He's flirting with you
Me: No, he's flirting with Jack

BB, IG, CC and myself have decided that they're missing a trick with the Pope- they need to run a TV contest with phone voting and contests (such as psalm recitals), then when the Pope is elected there should be fireworks through the chimney (instead of smoke) followed by the Pope himself, holding a Mary Poppins-esque umbrella that showers psalms over everyone.

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Yes, Go On, Explain Your Point

Following conversation was between myself (D), random year 8/9 boy (RB) and one of the music teachers (CC). I almost feel sorry for people who make homophobic statements (etc.) when I'm around...

RB: Being gay is weird
D: Sorry, would you like to repeat that?
RB: Being gay is weird...
D: Okay, now explain your point
(Enter CC)
D: Go on! Explain why being gay is weird
RB: (hesitates) Well-
CC: Yes, go on, keep debating, I'd like to hear you justify your point
RB: It's just... weird
D: Homosexuality is found in over 400 species
RB: Right
D: Whilst homophobia is found in one. Is it still weird?
RB: Um... No...
D: I think you owe me an apology
RB: Why!?
D: You actually quite offended me. So, apology.
RB: Sorry

He then went on to call me a boy and to tell me I was weird for being bi. So I got increasingly annoyed. Seriously, what is his problem!? Some people are gay; some people are bi; some people are other; some people are straight. I don't tell people they're weird because they're straight, can't the same courtesy be extended to me?
 

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Quotes From My Uber-Cool Day!

I've had a pretty amazing day so far... However, I've still got a chunk to go, so I'll do a full update when that's happened! For now, here are some quotes from my day...

Oh, a basic key- T is my physics teacher, L is one of my close friends, W is my partner-in-crime, IG and BB are my two other musketeers, SW is a German teacher, HT is my History teacher and URT is an unidentified RE teacher who teaches IG.

T: Between the five of you, you have the intellect of a small university. Or at least the arts side of the university.

T: (to me) By any standards, you really are a strange child. (to his piece of chocolate) Hey, look, it's a death star!!

Our Community Day Group: Building a bridge out of spaghetti and marshmallows is boring... We're building a nativity!

L: (to W) You're wearing a Betty Boop necklace. She's a slag. You're wearing a slag round your neck!

L: If someone I was going out with slept with *unidentified person* I'd probably be pretty upset.

Me: I can't go out with BB. He's engaged and I'm... Well, I'm gay.

(stood outside the MFL office)
IG: Should we go in and say Merry Christmas to SW?
Me: Yeah, go for it!
IG: Actually... let's not
(ten minutes later, we bumped into SW, HT and URT)
SW: You never said Merry Christmas! I could hear you about to come in and I though 'Aww, how lovely' and you didn't!

Me: BB's engaged!
BB: Oh no...
SW: Aha! I knew the rumours were true! Whenever he misses my lessons for a guitar lesson, I always say he's round the back of the school, smoking and kissing the girls
HT: I think I've heard those rumours too
Me:.... I think I spread those rumours....

W: We need a shorter way to say Merry Christmas!
Me: Merry Crimbo- yah?!
W: Oh God...

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Conversation From Today...

Friend: I don't like people who are gay
Me: Why not?!?
Friend: I just don't
Me: So if your friend was gay, what would you do?
Friend: I wouldn't be friends with them
Me: So I guess you're not friends with me
Friend: What? No, you're lovely. I'm on about gay people!
Me: Yeah. I'm gay.
Friend: Oh. Right.
Just to clarify, I use the name 'friend' in the loosest of fashions. Wasn't too keen on her before, she's dropped even further in my estimation now!
Some people are gay. Get over it.

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You, My Good Sir, Are Like A Damp Fish In A Blender

Today myself and the other two musketeers started playing what is possibly the best game ever...
The aim of the game? To slip set words/phrases into a conversation without being detected.
Further explanation- A and B are players whilst C is a bystander. A selects a person- in this case, C- and a random word/phrase. For this explanation, the word's going to be taxidermy. B then has to talk to C, and put the word taxidermy into the conversation whilst not letting C know what's going on.
Due to this game, I spent my afternoon discussing 'taxidermy' with my Physics teacher, 'emailing the home secretary' with my English teacher and 'cheese lobsters' with a friend in the year below.
Other attempts that went successfully? (These include successes by the other musketeers)
- Death by candlelight
- Homosexuality on the moon
- Why is it do small
- Waffles
- Bananas in pyjamas
- You, my good sir, are like a damp fish in a blender
- Clangers
- Erectile dysfunction
- The justification of teeth whitener is that stegosauri had good hygiene
- I'm so excited and I just can't hide it

Finally, there was BB's attempt to disguise the sentence 'I like your scarf' (ooh the in-jokes!) that failed. Miserably. Very miserably indeed.
The game, however, was extremely entertaining- definitely something I think we'll continue!!

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I Forgot!!

My favourite Narnian-related quote of them all?
'What happens in Narnia stays in Narnia' (well said!!)

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Narnia

Further NARNIA survey answers (for the original post go here!!).

'I don't know!! Why are you asking me this?!?' (because we value your opinion- STOP giving me scared looks whenever I'm near you!!)
'Did the lion come out of the closet? Or was that the witch?' (Music. Never fails to impress)
'A special hug with Mr Tumnus? Is that what you call it?' (Yup!)
'This is getting weirder by the second. Hypothetically female?' (Yes, sir. Hypothetically female)
'It's a really important question. Very typical of what goes on in your mind; you're away in Narnia' (I am indeed!)
'It's a good question. Meanwhile, this is how you say abortion in makaton' (Life lesson there!)
'Don't answer them. Walk away. Say no. Don't let them ask you!' (thankfully, she didn't listen!)
'This is the most surreal conversation I've overheard all day' (I aim to entertain)

Also a very long conversation with one of the lovely, mad music teachers that got gradually crazier.

I love the conversations I have at school each day :')

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More Quotes From My Crazy Life

Hmm, quotes from today...

*year eights ran very loudly past our classroom*
Teacher: I hope they trip and die. I can't be bothered with them any more!

*having had a joke argument with my friend*
Me: Sir, if she doesn't come in tomorrow it's 'cause I murdered her!
Sir: Well at least you're honest about it

*had a debate with my friend that ended up being a debate about debates*
W: L, don't argue with her. She's always wrong but she won't shut up until you say she's right.
Me: What do you mean? I'm always right!

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Duke Of Edinburgh

I'm back from the land of mud!
Had a really lovely three days; much walking and mud, as well as freezing cold and rain, but also lots of jokes and fun.
Highlights? Standing on a pole on the top of a windy hill and feeling like I was on top of the world!! Also our 'downtime'- playing cards and word games whilst lying in the tent in the evenings.
There were many in-jokes, of course; 'I KNOW THAT MAN', 'Like, literally', 'NO MORE UNO', 'The book/film/opera', 'The nose blowing ballet' and 'Brawin' to name just a few! Also many jokes about my (lack of) cooking skills.

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Quotes From Today

Today, we watched a TV programme in RE called 'Conspiracy Road Trip: Creationists'. The basic idea is that five mid-very fundamentalist creationists are taken on a road trip to argue their beliefs- they put forward an argument, the presenter finds evidence to counteract this.
The programme was quite amusing; without meaning to offend anyone, I can't believe that people can be that religious- for instance, one of the men was very very homophobic. I hate homophobia, particularly in direct relation to religion.
Anyway, that's just an explanation.
Quotes from the programme that amused me:
'Is this a gay church?' and 'Darwinists have no moral underpinnings'. No offence intended.

Another quote, this time from my maths teacher- this wasn't a joke, he was being completely serious-
Person: 60 seconds till the bell!
Teacher: No, it's a minute until the bell.

Ye Gods.

Next, my Chemistry teacher complained of being cold, and asked my friend and I, in all seriousness, to feel her nose. That's the first time anyone's asked me that!

Finally, our Physics teacher is renowned for cycling to/from school wearing Lycra. My Chemistry teacher's comment?
'We have tried to ban him from doing it. He really shouldn't be allowed.'

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Excerpt From Today

My friend and I were watching two people walk away from us...

Me: They're both bald...
Friend: That's a very bold statement

Stupid puns are brilliant ;)

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