2015: 25 Things!

As I've been quite busy recently, I wasn't sure whether I'd have time to write up a list of 50 things for 2015. In addition, both of my previous lists have remained uncompleted. Therefore, I was definitely veering towards scrapping the idea for this year. However, part of me was adamant that it's a good thing, so I've decided to continue, but to reduce the number to 25. This means that it's not exhaustive (there are other things I want to do that I've not put down), but does give me some direction at least. Hopefully this will make it easier to complete!! Holla, my list of things to do this year!

1) Make bubble tea

2) Raise at least £2015 for charity

3) Hand out lemons wearing a top saying LIFE

4) Complete a novel first draft

5) Become a Stonewall Young Volunteer

6) Spend a month being vegetarian

7) Discover (another) five new musicians

8) Buy a stranger a drink

9) Sleep outside for a night

10) Go camping

11) Get a job

12) Start volunteering for something more hands on

13) Get a tattoo

14) Go for a month without social media

15) Explore Bristol a lot more and document it here!

16) Get my tragus pierced

17) Have a mega clear out

18) Do another colour run

19) Get published in a magazine

20) Go on a day trip by myself

21) Do well in Year 13

22) Do something out of my comfort zone

23) Apply for university

24) Run in a 'proper' sponsored running event

25) Start creating a guide to cute/quirky cafes in Bristol

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Stuck.

At the moment, most of the people in my year are finishing their personal statements, applying to universities and eagerly awaiting their offers. It seems like a day doesn't go by without someone mentioning 'UCAS' or 'application' or 'offer' or 'university'. It's an exciting process, working out what you're doing to be doing for the next three years. On top of that, Facebook is full of friends already at uni, posting pictures of their new friends and the events they've been to, talking eagerly about their new lives. Everyone seems to be moving somewhere at the moment. Maybe that's why I feel so stuck and caged in.
It's not that I'm regretting my decision to stay at sixth form for another year. Given the circumstances, I still feel that I made the right choice, and that it'll pay off at the end. It's just really really difficult to think that, in a years time, everyone else will have moved on, and I'll still be here. Still going to the same school I've been attending for the past six years (seven by then), living in the same area, doing the same things. I really do love my life, bu I want to stretch my wings. I want to start afresh, somewhere where no-one knows who I am. I want to find a city and make it mine, all mine, with no-one else able to take that from me. I want to make my own memories, with different people and different places, my head full of new sights and sounds. I want to grow up, and to fully become my own person.
All of this just makes me feel even more volatile and unpredictable than usual. I'm always in need of making changes- that's part of the reason I dye my hair so much, and has been the reason for several of my piercings. But right now all the body modification in the world couldn't make the world move in the way I want it to. I want to run away and join the circus, or learn how to fly a hot air balloon and make it all the way to America. Obviously, neither of those are possible, but I'm still racking my brains for something I can do, some change I can make to make this stillness more bearable. Throwing myself into Christmas is my plan for now, I guess. Focusing on my schoolwork, too, so that when the time comes I'll be able to go wherever I want.
Sigh.

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September

Dear September,
I'm well aware that I'm late in writing to you. We're six days together now, after all. However, belated is always better than never, and it just so happens that I want to talk.
I will begin with an ode to the past. August was, quite simply, beyond words. It was full of amazing people, fantastic happenings... I'm quite sorry to have left it. At the same time, however, I'm excited. I believe, like Augustus Waters, that I'm on a rollercoaster that only goes up. If that's what August brought, then I'm excited to see what you, September, will offer.
Currently, my diary looks strangely empty. I have quite a bit planned for next week, but after that it goes blank. However, I know from experience that this happens, and that come this time next week the following week will be pretty full, and so on and so forth. I am not really worried about having nothing to fill my time with. What I am more worried about is getting nowhere. Although I do a lot, I often forget to sit down, to look at where I've come from and where I'm going. It's far too easy to get caught up, and to leave no time to evaluate. This is the main reason I'm writing to you, September. I want to set some goals, to decide where I want to be by the time we part.
To do this, I'm utilising the 'SMART' framework. Each of my goals is going to be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound. This should make it easier to look back at the end of the month, and to decide whether I've completed my goals or not. Here goes, September!:

 1- By the end of this month, I want to have increased my 'Branching Out' page to have five posts. One of these will come from PBG; the other two will require looking for other blogs that accept guest posts. This is important (and relevant) because it will increase my experience as a blogger, and will mean that my blogging presence expands slightly. I really want to make this blog into more of something, and guest blogging is one way to do that.
2- Come the beginning of October, I want to have survived the initial 'assessment period' of A levels. The first few weeks are used to decide whether all students are competent to take the course- if not, then transfers and dropping becomes relevant. I'm not seeing this as an option, and I'm determined to take all four of my subjects onwards. This is important for my future studies as it affects what I do for the rest of this year, and, ultimately, how many A levels I end up with.
3- Having literally just received my Level Two swimming certificate, I can now plan using this! I've found a website that will allow me to look for swim teaching jobs quite easily. However, this does require some work on my part as I'll need to have my CV up to date. Therefore, by the end of this month I want to have a working account on this website. I also want to have specifically applied for two jobs, though they needn't necessarily be swimming related. This will mean that I am on track to getting a job, which will hopefully eventually give me more independence, mean that I have a small bit of income and be my entry into the world of work.
4- As I'm catching the bus A LOT at the moment, I really need to sort out getting a monthly bus pass. This will be cheaper if I have a student bus pass, which requires a student card. Therefore, by the beginning of October, I am going to have definitely applied for my student card and, if that's come through, then also have applied for my student bus pass. It would be amazing if I could also get my monthly bus pass by then, but that's really dependent on how long things take to come through really. This will save money, and make my parents that little bit happier.
5- Sometime this month I'm going to have to have a bit of a difficult conversation with someone. I both want to have this conversation, and really don't want to have this conversation. Therefore, I'm putting it as one of my goals, so that I can be proud of myself for getting it done, even if I don't feel great about the rest of it. This is important for lots of reasons that I'm not going to go into, and it will be a weight off of my shoulders when it's done!

So there you go September. Be nice to me, won't you? x

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NCS: Wild Goose

We're now approaching the end of week three of the NCS scheme, and things are getting pretty exciting! On Monday, Wednesday and Thursday of this week we volunteered at Wild Goose Cafe, which is the project we've been partnered up with. As a basic overview, it's a place where homeless people can go to eat (breakfast, lunch and dinner), as well as being a place for them to chat and relax in a safe, indoor environment. The volunteering has been really hectic as there's so so much to do- however, it's been really worthwhile. My favourite part has been serving the food, and getting to talk to the recipients. I honestly wouldn't mind doing something similar to this as a job- I've met so many amazing and lovely people, and I feel like we're making a difference. Working with the Wild Goose has made me so happy!!

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WombBuds Take Bristol!

A while back, myself and the other two wombies decided that we wanted to create a summer bucket list. After a lot of saying 'oh yeah, add that to the list' and not actually adding things, we arranged a hangout this evening and actually got the list done. It's pretty lengthy, so we've extended the completion time to the end of this year, with the main rules being that they only count if we all complete them together, and that we can double up on things (eg, have a movie marathon at a sleepover). I'm doing to post it here and keep it running as a bit of a series; hope you enjoy!

Summer Specific
- Go to Arnos Vale cemetery
- Go to Cardiff
- Go for a hike and take a picnic
- Go to Ashton Court
- Go fruit picking
- Make and fly kites
- Go to Bath for the day
- Have a water fight
- Go on a boat trip around the Harbour
- Take a trip to the zoo
- Sleep under the stars
- Make glow in the dark bubles
- Swim at the open air pool in Portishead
- Make lemonade
- Go to the beach
- Go up and down at the Clifton Suspension Bridge observatory
- Create and carry out a scavenger hunt
- Use chalk to draw on the pavement (including hopscotch)
- Watch the sunset
- Watch the sunrise
- Go to Weston Super Mare
- Go for a picnic by the Harbour
- Visit Windmill Hill City Farm
- Visit St Werbergh's Farm
- Go to Blaise Park
- Go in the fountains in the centre of Bristol
- Go to Clevedon pier

 Not Summer Specific
- Go to a roller disco
- Have a game of golf at Jungle Rumble
- Make t-shirts
- Visit the SS Great Britain!
- Try new foods
- Have brunch
- Visit a farmers market
- Go exploring in Bristol
- Go out for the day without a pre-set plan
- Have a creative day
- Have a pamper day
- Have a movie marathon
- Buy and use a disposable camera
- Go to a theme park
- Visit cemetaries
- Sell/buy at a car boot sale
- Cook!
- Bake something
- Have sparklers and watch fireworks
- Go to the cute pizza place
- Have a posh meal (preferably outside)
- Have a day of doing things we've never done before
- Run up the down escalators (and vice versa)
- Have a day involving our toy lambs
- Make a gingerbread house
- Go to @Bristol
- Go on a Bristol red bus tour
- Have a sleepover
- Paint pottery
- Go to London
- Go in a photobox
- Volunteer somewhere
- Go to the Playground Coffee House

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GUESS WHAT?!?

So, you remember this??? Well, guess where I'm heading back to next year?!?! So so so excited!!!

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Colour Run

Have you ever found going for a run a little bit boring? Well, what about this? As the website says, the idea is simple- you wear all white clothing and have colours chucked at you. What could be better?!
I'm really hoping I can attend one of these at some point, looks like so much fun!! ^.^

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Devon/Bosnia

Yo! I am back from Devon with around 35 hours (or so!) until I'm away again. Blink and you'll miss me!
Anyway, Devon was a very quickly planned trip, partly to visit my aunt and partly to try and give me some more energy from Bosnia- I've not had the greatest week, mood-wise. It was a really nice weekend; lots of dog walks, which are always good. Also bought some fantastic new books, which I'm looking forward to reading.
The next 35 hours comprise of lots and lots of business- meeting up with friends tomorrow, tie-dying a dress and generally packing. Then it's off again! We're in Bosnia for two weeks, helping out at a children's centre and probably organising school bags ready for the new school term. It's a bit daunting, particularly as I've been feeling quite low recently, but I'm excited nonetheless.

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Yo People!

I've been pretty busy recently, as you've probably guessed. From the way things are looking, this is going to continue until I go away to Bosnia on Wednesday... Which means that I might not post much whilst I'm here, and will be unable to schedule much in the way of posts for while I'm away. I might have internet whilst I'm there but I'm not sure, and things are going to be equally busy there if not more. Sooo, I will try my absolute best to get a few posts scheduled, just to keep things going whilst I'm away, and hopefully when I get back I'll find my Holland diary and type that up as well as my Bosnia diary!

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Spare Time And Plans

Seeing as I'm going away soon and I finally have some free time, it's porbably a good time to start sorting out some automatic posts... Hmm... Will try and do a better job than I did last time (Gambia)- can't promise there won't be any token posts, but I'll try and put some good ones in there too. You never know, I might finally type up my prom stuff!

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Summer Plans: Work Experience

This one's been a plan for a while, but finally had the all clear this week; next week and the week after I'm doing work experience assisting in the Science department at school. Still to get my timetable (so I can find out what classes/teachers I'll be with!) but I'm sure it'll be fine!

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Summer Plans: Swim Teaching

One of my soon-to-be-happening summer plans is the swim teaching course that I'm starting on Saturday. It's fairly intensive (read: busy so blogging might decrease!) especially coupled with the work experience (different plan, different post). However, I'm really really looking forward to it. I've been swim teaching for over two years now as a volunteer, so it would be nice to learn more about what I'm doing and, more importantly, what I should be doing. I've also been told that once I've completed the course my volunteering will increase (at the moment I'm teaching a small younger group and assisting with a big older group- after this course, the older group will be split into two and I'll be the teacher of one half, if that makes sense). Anyway, yeah. That's the next plan!

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Yay!!!!

I've finished my exams!!! The (mainly jam-packed) holidays start here, with a trip to town in about half an hour to get my nose pierced and meet up with IG and BB. Tomorrow is a lazy day, Thursday I have various odd jobs to complete, and Friday is CARDIFF. Finally, Saturday hails the start of my swim teaching course.
Woop woop!! So so happy to be done with exams; I can actually sit back and blog (or even do nothing- what a novelty!) without feeling guilty!

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New Outlook

There are some things that happen, or that have happened, that are better off staying away from this blog: partly because I don't want them where anyone could stumble across them, partly because I have to remember that they could trigger/influence others and partly because, useful as this blog is, there are some things I would rather not have a record of.
So, I want to gloss over some things and just say that, for as long as I can make it last, I'm going to keep this blog really positive. I feel hesitant about using the word 'recovery', as it sounds so serious and I'm not sure that that is really what this is, but at the same time I feel it is a vaguely appropriate word to use. I want to 'recover' from everything that's holding me back and holding me down; I want to get to a day when I can feel happy and relaxed for a sustained period of time, a day when the scars on my arms are just a thing of the past.
Of course, I will also post a lot of the type of stuff I normally post, like random trivia and videos/songs and weird links and my views and rants and all that jazz! I just want to use this as a base for optimism and 'recovery', rather than negativity, as well!
I hope that this blog will be really instrumental in helping me with this, and- maybe, hopefully- help others to also feel better, in their own lives or in their own version of 'recovery', whatever that may be linked to or from. I warn you now, that this is not going to be easy- I will still get stressed, and I am likely to still use blogging as an outlet for that. However, I can promise you that I will try. I want to be the best me I can be again.
Finally, introducing a new blog tag- smile- which I'll tag anything 'recovery'/happy related in the future, and might try and tag some old posts, just so that if you're here and you need cheering up, you can access stuff that might help you do that :)
Here's to thoughts of a brighter future x

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Wisdom And Apologies

I am sorry, blog, I have neglected you a lot recently. Two weeks and two days, then I'm finished with exams, and we shall have the whole summer together (except from the time I'm away...), as well as a blog-birthday to celebrate!
For now, wisdom from my sister: 'life isn't fair because girls can't grow moustaches and beards'. Is it bad that I had this realisation only last year?!

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Whoop Whoop

Going to a BBQ (okay, I'll admit it, I'm writing it like that 'cause I don't know how to spell it!) so the following weather forecast was a nice thing to see! ^.^ Hope it's good weather where you are, enjoy the weekend x

Also, something I've just realised- when inserting a pic on the updated iPod Blogger, you get the opportunity to 'launch' the camera. Makes me feel a bit like Bond...

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Summer Plans: Caerdydd

New summer plan!! In a few weeks time (just after the end of exams) I'm going to Cardiff with IG and BB. Excited already, it looks to be a great day- though a few people, upon hearing of our plans, have threatened to warn the whole of Cardiff to close for the day. Apparently we shouldn't be trusted in Bristol, never mind out of it!

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Happy Bank Holiday

Wow! It's a bank holiday- and the sun is shining. This is unusual.
I really like this weather. I'm not so keen on having been woken up incredibly early by the sun, but hoping to use that to my advantage. Got some revision to do, and hopefully I'll move camp to outside in a bit.
Then, later, I'm going to Portishead with my family, which I'm looking forward to :)

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Apologies!!

Sorry, it's been a busy week, so I've not had much time to update. Got another two very busy days- going to the theatre tomorrow evening, then on trip to London (House of Parliament) on Friday. Will try to do a 'good' post tomorrow, but if not then expect lots over the weekend!
Just a few things I've been doing recently... Trying to salsa, practising chat-up lines, being convinced by GG that she is best-dressed teacher, changing calendars and discussing suitable 'theatre outfits'- apparently this category doesn't include onesies!

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A Little Light-Heartedness

I really need a break from revision, so I thought I'd do a bit of a non-serious post about my weekend...
Yesterday I got up early to do revision (spot the theme!) then had a piano lesson, which actually went really well. Went into town with some friends, which was great. I got a few new tops (two stretchy camisoles 'cause they're really versatile and two shirts since that's my current 'thing') and an 'on the go' coffee mug which I'm in love with.
When I got home I did some more revision, and a bit of tidying- I'm still in the midst of rearranging my room, so yesterday I cleared out one of my bookcases. The room now looks bigger, but still extremely messy. I've been promised a rug of my choosing if I can get it tidy though!
Finally, spent the evening researching/bemoaning Hollister and watching my weekly fix of TV- I watch very little actual TV during the week, but Saturday night has both Dr Who and Casualty, two of my favourite programmes. Waterloo Road is back on this week as well, so I can return to my Nikki/Lorraine fangirling! ;)
Finally, today has been spent in a world of revision, but I'm about to do a little bit of tidying before going out for my hour and a half of swim teaching. Hopefully tonight I'll be able to sign up for my Level One Swim Teaching course in the summer, which will be cool beans!! :)

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